Category: Teaching

How To Be A Partner In Education Even If You Aren’t A Mindreader

Our children spend six and a half hours a day in school. For those who are not mathematically inclined, that’s over thirty hours a week. That is a lot of time to be learning and growing and evolving without parents truly knowing the specifics of what happened in the day. And yet, we are often left wondering how we can do more at home, and support what is being taught. Are they grasping concepts? With the learning lag of online school still very much at the forefront, many parents are worried that they need to provide extra attention to learning, These questions are magnified by not really knowing what our children are doing during the day. What ARE they learning? What concepts are being covered? When the typical response to “what did you learn today” is either “I don’t know” or “stuff”, how can you even be effective?

As a teacher, one of the most frequently asked questions is how to support children at home. Let it be said that I definitely don’t have all the answers. I do know that parents typically fall into one of two categories; those who are over-involved and those who are under-involved. Why is that the case? Because as we know with everything else in life, striking a balance is next to impossible. So why should supporting our children’s education be anything different?

Instead, we inherently swing towards one of the extremes and wonder how to ease off the gas a bit more. I wanted to provide some basic tips and tricks for how to support children. These are things that teachers wish parents knew, and are easy to implement. The best part is that you don’t need to know what concepts are being covered to start!

Everything starts at home, the night before. We have all heard of the importance of a good night’s sleep and I’m sure that many of you have bedtime routines down pat at this point… I’m certain more so for parental sanity than well-rested children wink. What I am referring to is before bedtime. In an effort to engage our children, many of them are over-programmed. Extra-curricular activities are important, don’t get me wrong. However, having a different activity every night of the week is a LOT. Every child is different, and where some can handle only one activity per week, others may be able to handle more. It’s important to remember that having multiple commitments can cause anxiety in children. I have had many conversations with students who have said they are unable to complete things at home or feel that they have too much going on because they have activities almost every day. This is a prime example of the importance of open dialogue between children and parents. This is not to say that the child who does not want to practice piano (cough cough my own child) gets to opt-out, but we do discuss the number of weekly commitments together.

The use of an agenda is a fabulous tool. When our children are young, they are a great way to communicate with the teacher or vice versa. This helps to cut down on the unknowns of the day. When children are older, it is a great time-management tool. Unfortunately, many schools have paused the use of agendas due to Covid, as they try to minimize the items going back and forth from school. If you already have an agenda system in place, make sure to use it, and model for older children (grades 3+) how it can be helpful. Reviewing the agenda daily, and initialling it so that teacher can see you have read it is an easy start. If there is no agenda system in place, reach out to the homeroom teacher and see what the best form of communication is for weekly reminders, special days and upcoming assignments and assessments. This may look like a virtual newsletter, an email system, or even a virtual classroom. Don’t leave it to your child to tell you where to find the day-to-day information. That being said, no matter what the system, please do not expect the teacher to record verbatim what has happened in the day, as that is just not feasible.

Reading at home is so important. This can be a bit of a no-brainer in theory but can be difficult to tackle in practice. When our kids are younger, we often read together with them; help them sound out the words or look for picture clues. As children get older and are more independent, parents do not always know the books they are reading (I mean, has anyone really had the time to pick up the most recent DogMan book??). This begs the question – how do you support reading? The good news for parents is that as students enter the end of primary and into junior grades, reading is more about explaining your understanding and less about your oral fluency. Talking about reading at home is the number one tip I give all parents of the students I teach. This means we need to talk about reading with our children, and always encourage them to support their thinking. These mini conversations can take place in the car on the way to school, at the dinner table, or right before bed. They do not have to be formal assessments.

Simply ask what their favourite part is so far, what they think is going to happen next, or which character is they can relate to the best and then ask WHY. This is an area of need for all children (and especially gifted thinkers). Encouraging children to give more than a one-word answer, and think about supporting their thinking will give them a leg-up not just in literacy but in all subjects. I recognize that this assumes our children actually read at home, which I know many do not. The good news is that these conversations can be about any subject (space, chocolate cake, or Pokemon) – the key is in the WHY.

The last point I want to cover is to ask children how they are feeling. This year, more so than others, brings with it a lot of anxiety. Whether children are back in the class, still online, or back and forth, there are a multitude of feelings. Taking time to ask children how they are doing, and giving them both the tools and the outlets to truly express it are imperative. I can tell you that 99% of children will not just walk up to a parent and articulate perfectly how they are feeling (nor would 99% of adults for that matter). Asking children to journal, mindmap, or colour a picture of their day are all ways that can help you understand how they are doing without a formal conversation. Check-ins will help gauge how they are doing with all the changes and uncertainty of the year. Just as our mental health is important, so is theirs. As they cannot necessarily advocate for themselves it is our job to ask questions to help them process. If there is interest, I can definitely go into this more in a later post.

The only thing you definitely cannot do is read minds. Although we may want to, we cannot be flies on the wall in the classroom. Even as a 4th-grade teacher with a child in a grade 4 classroom, I STILL don’t know what she is doing on the daily. We all struggle with this. We will never know exactly what happened in the day but we can try to give children some tools to help them get through, And trust me, your child’s teacher will thank you. I know I would.

This is life. Love, Mom.

October 25, 2021
Those Who Can, Teach. Those Who Can’t (And Need To Support Themselves), Take A Mental Health Leave.

A couple of weeks ago, I went out with two girlfriends who are also teachers. So, of course, at one point the conversation inevitably turned to the profession. The gist of the conversation, and how heated we got when we talked, is what influenced this post.

Let me start by saying that every job has its ups and downs. Every profession has positive elements and those that are less desirable. And, at one point or another, we have all complained about our jobs. Teachers, however, have somehow earned the medal of “top complainers”. The general consensus is that teachers have nothing to complain about. Summers off, short hours, good pay, and benefits, a bull of a union…. what do we have to be upset about? If that is the case, why are teachers taking more than fifty percent more sick days than a decade ago? Why have mental health leaves skyrocketed? And why is teacher burnout a such common conversation nowadays?

Teachers used to just teach. I don’t know about you, but when we were in school, the teacher stood at the front of the class, taught a lesson, and then assigned follow-up work – questions from a textbook, a worksheet, or something similar. I remember the thirty minutes of DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time every morning.

My music teacher used to play his accordion at the front of the class while we sat at our desks and sang along. I can still hear the sound of the AV cart rolling down the hall so we could watch Bill Nye videos for science. Granted, as kids, we didn’t have a good understanding of what the teacher did after hours (I mean, who didn’t think their teacher slept at the school?). I’m not saying teachers didn’t work hard, because I am sure they did, but the expectations were much different than they are today.

The curriculum of today looks very different than it did a decade ago. The expectations are more rigorous and robust. This provides a much more enriching curriculum for students. However, since there is so much to cover, the understanding is that everything must have a purpose, and be tied into the curriculum. The days of DEAR are gone. Often teachers are told that if there is no follow-up or assessment component, it can’t be done. Reading for the love of it or watching a video to enjoy the content isn’t enough anymore. There must be a specific, curriculum-driven purpose to everything. Now, I don’t necessarily disagree with the thinking behind this. I think that if you cannot justify why you are filling your time with a particular lesson, it may not have a place in the day. Equally, just as in any profession, there are teachers who, if not monitored, would otherwise take advantage of this. And the truth is, with so much curriculum to cover there is very little wiggle room in the day to begin with. But in an effort to enrich the day, we run the risk of removing the love of learning and exploring. For example, there is a true benefit to reading for enjoyment, without worrying that you are going to be assessed on what you are doing. Sadly many students wouldn’t otherwise pick up a book if it was not during school hours. Teachers have very little leeway to exercise these options. Which is all to assume that they understand the options in front of them. Teachers college is fraught with hypotheticals, academic articles and educational history. The academic nature of the programs puts teachers at a huge disservice. When I completed my degree I had three years of once-a-week practicum, and I definitely wasn’t prepared. Teachers now have even less. There is not enough real-world experience to adequately prepare new teachers for their roles.

If that was all, the job would already be stressful. However, this is only part of the equation. As a teacher today, delivering curriculum is only a component of your job. You are also a social worker, tech support personnel, therapist, confidant, substitute parent and parenting advisor. You can even, at times be a marriage counsellor, verbal punching bag, psychologist, or suicide support interventionist. You have not been trained to do any of these jobs properly, but are expected to put any of those hats on at a moment’s notice (and sometimes more than one simultaneously). Nothing in the system prepares teachers for those roles. Some professionals go to school for years to do these jobs properly. However, in our tapped system they are only available infrequently, and rarely at the moment when they are needed most. Most training and professional development are done during monthly staff meetings, or on teachers’ own time. Courses and training are often offered on a voluntary basis for teachers to complete on their own. The argument from society is that it is part of the job and teachers just have to do it. The argument from the teachers union is it isn’t part of the job and teachers have to say no. Neither one is feasible and there is very little middle ground. Teachers are so many things to so many people. It is rewarding but exhausting.

Many teachers take their jobs home with them both emotionally and physically. Yes, teachers are allocated a certain amount of prep time in the day, but that is often used to prepare engaging lessons, soothe a student, handle a social disagreement from recess, or phone a parent. Paperwork, report cards (at a time cost of over an hour per student), marking, timely assessment and feedback, and planning are all often taken home in the evening in an effort to catch up.

None of this is part of the workday. And yes, I am well aware that other professions work after hours. This is a typical counter-argument to teacher concerns. However, they are typically paid for their overtime or paid per project. Granted there are other professions where work is taken home to be completed without overtime, but just because others do it doesn’t make it okay for anyone.

Taking all of this into account, of course there would be burnout. It only makes sense that all the pressure would become too much for some. I myself fell victim to the pressure pre-covid. A few years ago, I was presented with a class that was like no other. Individually they required inordinate support, much more than I could provide them as one person. Together, their personalities did not mix well. A CYW (child and youth worker) was placed in my classroom for daily support. Together we created a multitude of social skills lessons, which unfortunately did very little to support the class. I felt like an octopus, trying to put out multiple fires at the same time. This was all before I even attempted the curriculum (which many days went right out the window). I began having panic attacks before the students even walked in the door. I would sit in my vice principal’s office and cry out of sheer frustration. I became anxious at school and home. The work-life balance was obliterated. My diminished mental health made it impossible for me to do my job as a teacher AND as a mother. So with the help of my admin and my doctor, I made the decision to take a stress leave. My steps to protect my mental health was the best decision I could have made. It was also the beginning of my journey of self-care advocacy for myself and others.

I share this because I am a seasoned teacher. I would like to think that I can take most of what the profession throws at me. But at a point in time, it was all too much for me to handle. In the spirit of transparency, even as I reread this post to review it before publishing, I feel tears in my eyes. The stress and toll can, at times, be too much. New teachers who don’t have the experience, and older teachers who have difficulty adapting to the changing landscape of the system are even more at risk. There is real merit to teachers asking for help…. to advocating for more support. Teachers are crying out for more support for their students, their classrooms, and themselves. The system is not build to adequately accomplish this. There is not enough money, time, or hours in the day. There is no easy answer here. It is a systemic issue that will not be fixed overnight.

This post is not meant to be a “woe is me” rant. It isn’t meant to have others feel sorry for teachers. I am sharing this for those who believe that teachers simply deliver the curriculum, go home at night with a glass of wine, and then enjoy summers off. I am sharing for those who believe that all teachers do is complain, and have no merit to do so. This is especially important as we are set to enter another unprecedented year in the education system. So next time you feel yourself judging a teacher for having the summers off, having an “easy” job, or for complaining too much, I urge you to take a second to think that through.

This is life. Love, Mom.

August 16, 2021
These Are Five Of My Favourite Things…
*Back To School Edition*

One of the best gifts we can give one another is recommendations for things that make our lives easier. I have decided to compile a list of things that have helped me, in a variety of categories. There are things that I have found that are tried and true, and things that I wish I would have found sooner. With school around the corner, a back-to-school edition was fitting for my first list. With the lazy summer days behind us, back-to-school time can be a bit precarious. Think of this like Oprah’s favourite things episode, just the LifeLoveMom edition! Hopefully one or more of these suggestions makes the time a little easier. It is a bit of a medley of items and ideas, but I wanted to ensure that I covered all the bases. I want to add that these items are not sponsored. This is just some good, old-fashioned word of mouth.

NUMBER 1: School lunches can be HARD! My kids have never been into sandwiches or traditional lunches. So I have found bento boxes to be my saving grace. I know there are so many brands out there…. I personally love the YumBox because I can buy extra trays in case one has to soak or make a run through the dishwasher. I also love how durable they are. My daughter has had the same one for 5 years!

I much prefer making lunches the night before, so sometimes I pack the tray and cover it with saran wrap so I can let the case air out overnight. You can find them almost anywhere, but I find that Chapters has the best prices. Here is a link in case you need one. https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=yumbox#internal=1

NUMBER 2: As much as moms feel we can do it all, we can’t. I have found chore charts have been a lifesaver. Giving kids age-appropriate chores to help around the house is a great way to share ownership and instil responsibility. They don’t have to be large, onerous tasks. It also helps to give kids something to do when everyone gets home, so you will have at least a few minutes before the epic chaos ensues. Some examples are that J helps to set the table, empty the dishwasher, make her bed, and practices her piano. Since N is younger, he empties his lunch box, puts his laundry away, and feeds the dog. I love this chart from Amazon. It sticks right to the fridge and the kids are obsessed with the dry erase markers! https://amzn.to/3eNdM6l

NUMBER 3: Covid has completely changed the landscape of school. I never thought I would have to stock up on masks in addition to everything else. But, alas, here we are. I adore these pouches that my sister makes. Her company, EandR Creatives has the cutest Etsy page. They make the organization of clean/dirty masks so much easier. The kids love that they are personalized just for them! There are tons of other personalized items, but I am linking the mask pouch here. https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/861175451/double-pocket-mask-pouch-double-pocket?ref=shop_home_active_1&pro=1

NUMBER 4: This isn’t a product, but more of a strategy. Meal planning is my jam. If you know me, you know how sacred my weekly meal plan is. I swear by shopping once a week, and making it last. One the weekend, we typically eat out for one dinner, but during the week I don’t have time to think about what I’m going to make. So meal planning is so important. You don’t need fancy apps or templates to do this. I usually make a list on my phone. I plan out what is happening in the week, and who is eating when. Then I make a list of meals, and ingredients I will need (after looking in my fridge and pantry to see what we already have). I add drinks, lunch box items, and any paper goods we might need. Then I can confidently shop for the week. For those of you who don’t have time to grocery shop, I am loving Voila by Sobeys. You can make a list right on the site, and it tracks your favourite items. I have a code for new customers who want to save $25. Just click here https://referral.voila.ca/l/1LEORAKIM81/

NUMBER 5: The art of conversation… How was your day is probably the vaguest question we can ask our kids. This is why it is typically met with a “meh”, “okay” or a silent shrug. Many parents would liken finding out what happened during the school day to pulling teeth. When J started school, Hubby and I decided that we would reframe the question into more specific prompts. I am including a list of examples here:
- Who made you smile today?
- Who was one friend you played with today?
- Who did you help today?
- What was the funniest thing that happened today?
- What is one new thing you learned today?
- What was your least favourite part of the day?
- Was anyone sad today?
- Which was your favourite subject today?
- Did you enjoy your lunch?
- What is one thing you are proud of today?
- What was the most special part of today?
- What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Asking questions like these is not foolproof. We do get the silent nods and shrugs, or the “idunno”s. But they do tend to elicit conversation faster than general questions.

Back-to-school time can be super stressful. Here’s hoping these suggestions can make it just a little bit easier. If you have any suggestions, tips or tricks for back-to-school time, I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments for others to read and share. After all, we are all in this together.

This is life. Love, Mom.
August 9, 2021
Gifted Doesn’t Mean You’re Smarter

August signals the beginning of the end – the countdown to back to school. Since being a teacher is so much of who I am, I wanted to ensure that I carved a space in this blog for educational topics and specifically gifted education. As an aside, my twitter is dedicated to my teaching journey, so if you are interested in more of that, there is a link to my account at the top of this page. When I tell people that I am a teacher, one of the questions I get asked the most is about gifted education. There is something elusive and mystical about children who are brighter than the rest. The general consensus is that these students are the unicorns of the education system – they follow all instructions, understand everything, and always ask for extra work. I’m here to tell you that this is not the case.

When I was in school, I had never heard the term “gifted”. Perhaps it was because I went to a private school, but as students, we were all told we were bright and capable. I know that many students were deemed gifted, mainly in public school or by private assessment, but it wasn’t something that had a specific place in my elementary school history. It just wasn’t something I had encountered growing up. When I was earning my Bachelors of Education, there was very little discussion about gifted education. It wasn’t until I completed my the first part of my additional qualification of Special Education that there was talk of the gifted side of special education. In fact, for the whole course there was one class about it (can you hear my sarcasm through the keys??). Throughout my entire Special Education qualification (all three parts), discussion and planning around gifted students seemed like an afterthought. In case you are wondering why this would even be a special education topic, it is because the curriculum is changed to meet the needs of these learners. They have needs that go above and beyond what the regular curriculum has. The absence of this in the courses and teachings further strengthened the idea that gifted students didn’t need to be discussed because there wasn’t anything difficult about working with them. Shame on the system.

I will be the first to admit that I was hesitant to work with gifted students, as I didn’t want to seem “dumb” or “incapable”. I was offered the position at my current school, having only worked with the students on the other side of the special education spectrum. Those students worried me because in my mind they were all students who were doing university-level math and reading at a high-school level. When we think of these students from a media perspective, we think of savant children who can do anything. All I can think of is the 1991 movie Little Man Tate, about a little boy with extraordinary intelligence. There is a very memorable scene near the beginning when they are trying to teach him to say the word “plate” but he keeps saying “Koffer” instead. They think something is wrong until they realize he is reading the brand of the plate inscribed on the back. What I came to learn very quickly is that, unlike in the movies, gifted doesn’t mean you are smarter than your peers. There is a heavy crown that comes with being labelled gifted.

The Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC) is a test to measure intelligence in children. It is also the scale used by many school boards as a pre-requisite for the gifted program. It doesn’t measure straight IQ. It looks at verbal (spoken) and non-verbal (pictures, coding) reasoning. This means that when you are gifted, you think differently. It doesn’t mean you can spell out facts like an encyclopedia, or explain how to split an atom. It means that when you look at a problem, your mind tackles it differently. You can reason differently, and look at the world differently. This is not a test that can be studied for or requires reading or writing, much to the chagrin of many parents who are hoping to increase their child’s chances of being placed in that program.

Why do I bring this up? Because since I began teaching in the gifted program, I begin every year with the same statement. Gifted doesn’t mean you are smarter. The first year I taught in the gifted program, a student came up to me and asked how I became so smart. When I asked her what she meant, she replied that I knew all the answers. After a few moments of thinking about how to craft a response in my head, I told her that I did not know all the answers; I just knew where to look to find them. After I said that, it was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I was no longer scared of not being as smart as my students, or being incapable of answering their questions. It was then that I knew my job was not to answer their questions but to teach them to answer them for themselves. So many students come into the gifted program at the top of their class. They are the students for which academics come easily. They are the ones the teacher doesn’t need to worry about. The system has built them up to think that they are more academically inclined than their peers, which isn’t necessarily the case. Often students have difficulty with social relationships, self-regulation, organization and goal-setting. As I mentioned before, being gifted is not all rainbows and sunshine. There is a heavy crown that comes along with the title.

As parents, we have to make the best decisions we can for our children. For some, this means a program that is tailored to fit their academic needs (such as a gifted program). For others, it means a program with like-minded individuals might not be the best fit. The key is knowing that there is no one-size-fits-all program for gifted learners. Ironically, Hubby and I discussed that if J had testing in the gifted range, we would not send her to the gifted program, as she loves her current school and the friendships she has forged there. I adore teaching the gifted program, and I would never want to teach any other group. The students can be adventurous, outgoing, inquisitive, or self-driven. However, they can also be shy, socially awkward, anxious, or quirky. They are not perfect but are perfect for me. What they are not, is smarter than everyone else.

This is life. Love, Mom.

August 2, 2021
When Two Worlds Collide

Prior to teaching, I worked for a non-profit foundation that ran programs for individuals with developmental disabilities. When I started, I knew very little about the community. Children with autism, developmental delays, and cognitive deficits were only something I read about when completing my psychology degree. I embraced the opportunity, as new as it was. I quickly went from a volunteer to a support staff, to the program coordinator for an entire department. As the coordinator, I ran recreational programs for children and teens. I hired and staffed teams, and then trained those teams. I immediately grew passionate about this vulnerable population. It became the topic of my undergrad psychology thesis. I even put off teaching for a year to continue to pursue the role.

The part I loved the most, was the problem-solving. Individuals with developmental disabilities can be prone to aggressive and socially-inappropriate behaviours. When staff couldn’t manage the behaviours, I was called in as backup. Most often, I was able to de-escalate situations. I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I was nervous walking into those situations. I would ask myself how I could help with the behaviour, what if I wasn’t sure what to do? What if someone was going to be injured? What if I was going to be injured? But wouldn’t you know it – the worst way to walk into a situation like that is unconfident. So ultimately, I had to fake it to make it. Staff called me because they needed support. So I HAD to be that physical and emotional support – for better or for worse.

When I started teaching, it was a direct bridge from the social work field. I was hired to work with a very high-needs student, who exhibited a great deal of aggression. My past training and background helped me to manage this environment. The same “fake it till you make it” thinking helped to support me. Together with an incredible support staff team, we tried our best to manage this student and help him succeed. It was definitely a trying and nerve-wracking position, but I powered through.

So why was it, when I began teaching a gifted classroom on the other end of the special education spectrum, my nerves returned? When I was a new teacher, I felt relatively confident working parents. All except for one group – parents who were also teachers. When I was still early in my career, I did not have the confidence to always support my professional decisions. When I was speaking with parents who were teachers, I was always nervous that they would question my teaching. This is especially true since I was still learning my profession. I was learning the curriculum, and how to deliver, extend and assess it all at the same time. A tall order for a seasoned teacher, and even more so for a brand new one. It was only once I had a few years under my belt that I began to feel confident supporting my decisions to other teachers.

And then….. I got pregnant. I told Hubby that I would be the parent that I dreaded as a new teacher. I would be the one that called the teacher and asked a plethora of questions. The thorn in the teacher’s side. I didn’t want to be, but I was certain that that’s how I was going to be wired as a mom. And he laughed, agreed, and told me that he would be the one to deal with the teachers (plot twist, at times I am actually the calmer one, haha).

The truth is, when speaking to my children’s teachers, I try very hard to reign in the “crazy teacher-mom” part of me. I don’t email from my professional account, and I give them space to do their own thing. I try to separate church and state as best I can. This is how I would want to be treated as a teacher. It isn’t perfect, I mean, they DO know within 5 minutes of speaking to me that I am a teacher. It’s probably because I use words only teachers would use. Who else inserts words like assessment, curriculum and differentiation into a conversation??

Wearing both hats is a challenge, and it’s one I don’t take lightly. I try very, very hard not to wear my teacher hat at home. Although I can tell you that doesn’t always happen. Especially when both kiddos were learning to read and write. And if I’m being honest, I don’t think being a teacher makes me a better mom, but I DO think that being a mom has made me a better teacher. I am able to speak to parents with shared experiences and relate to them on a different level. It helps me better communicate with them because I think about how I would want to receive the information.

With all that being said, J is going into grade 4 in September. This will be the first time I have first-hand knowledge and understanding of the curriculum my child is learning. It will be the first time that one of my children will be in the same grade I teach. So it is yet to be seen how much I will actually take my own advice and mellow out when talking to her teachers…..

This is life. Love, Mom.

June 28, 2021