Life Love Mom

Tag: teachingblog

  • How To Be A Partner In Education Even If You Aren’t A Mindreader

    How To Be A Partner In Education Even If You Aren’t A Mindreader

    Our children spend six and a half hours a day in school. For those who are not mathematically inclined, that’s over thirty hours a week. That is a lot of time to be learning and growing and evolving without parents truly knowing the specifics of what happened in the day. And yet, we are often left wondering how we can do more at home, and support what is being taught. Are they grasping concepts? With the learning lag of online school still very much at the forefront, many parents are worried that they need to provide extra attention to learning, These questions are magnified by not really knowing what our children are doing during the day. What ARE they learning? What concepts are being covered? When the typical response to “what did you learn today” is either “I don’t know” or “stuff”, how can you even be effective?

    As a teacher, one of the most frequently asked questions is how to support children at home. Let it be said that I definitely don’t have all the answers. I do know that parents typically fall into one of two categories; those who are over-involved and those who are under-involved. Why is that the case? Because as we know with everything else in life, striking a balance is next to impossible. So why should supporting our children’s education be anything different?

    Instead, we inherently swing towards one of the extremes and wonder how to ease off the gas a bit more. I wanted to provide some basic tips and tricks for how to support children. These are things that teachers wish parents knew, and are easy to implement. The best part is that you don’t need to know what concepts are being covered to start!

    Everything starts at home, the night before. We have all heard of the importance of a good night’s sleep and I’m sure that many of you have bedtime routines down pat at this point… I’m certain more so for parental sanity than well-rested children wink. What I am referring to is before bedtime. In an effort to engage our children, many of them are over-programmed. Extra-curricular activities are important, don’t get me wrong. However, having a different activity every night of the week is a LOT. Every child is different, and where some can handle only one activity per week, others may be able to handle more. It’s important to remember that having multiple commitments can cause anxiety in children. I have had many conversations with students who have said they are unable to complete things at home or feel that they have too much going on because they have activities almost every day. This is a prime example of the importance of open dialogue between children and parents. This is not to say that the child who does not want to practice piano (cough cough my own child) gets to opt-out, but we do discuss the number of weekly commitments together.

    The use of an agenda is a fabulous tool. When our children are young, they are a great way to communicate with the teacher or vice versa. This helps to cut down on the unknowns of the day. When children are older, it is a great time-management tool. Unfortunately, many schools have paused the use of agendas due to Covid, as they try to minimize the items going back and forth from school. If you already have an agenda system in place, make sure to use it, and model for older children (grades 3+) how it can be helpful. Reviewing the agenda daily, and initialling it so that teacher can see you have read it is an easy start. If there is no agenda system in place, reach out to the homeroom teacher and see what the best form of communication is for weekly reminders, special days and upcoming assignments and assessments. This may look like a virtual newsletter, an email system, or even a virtual classroom. Don’t leave it to your child to tell you where to find the day-to-day information. That being said, no matter what the system, please do not expect the teacher to record verbatim what has happened in the day, as that is just not feasible.

    Reading at home is so important. This can be a bit of a no-brainer in theory but can be difficult to tackle in practice. When our kids are younger, we often read together with them; help them sound out the words or look for picture clues. As children get older and are more independent, parents do not always know the books they are reading (I mean, has anyone really had the time to pick up the most recent DogMan book??). This begs the question – how do you support reading? The good news for parents is that as students enter the end of primary and into junior grades, reading is more about explaining your understanding and less about your oral fluency. Talking about reading at home is the number one tip I give all parents of the students I teach. This means we need to talk about reading with our children, and always encourage them to support their thinking. These mini conversations can take place in the car on the way to school, at the dinner table, or right before bed. They do not have to be formal assessments.

    Simply ask what their favourite part is so far, what they think is going to happen next, or which character is they can relate to the best and then ask WHY. This is an area of need for all children (and especially gifted thinkers). Encouraging children to give more than a one-word answer, and think about supporting their thinking will give them a leg-up not just in literacy but in all subjects. I recognize that this assumes our children actually read at home, which I know many do not. The good news is that these conversations can be about any subject (space, chocolate cake, or Pokemon) – the key is in the WHY.

    The last point I want to cover is to ask children how they are feeling. This year, more so than others, brings with it a lot of anxiety. Whether children are back in the class, still online, or back and forth, there are a multitude of feelings. Taking time to ask children how they are doing, and giving them both the tools and the outlets to truly express it are imperative. I can tell you that 99% of children will not just walk up to a parent and articulate perfectly how they are feeling (nor would 99% of adults for that matter). Asking children to journal, mindmap, or colour a picture of their day are all ways that can help you understand how they are doing without a formal conversation. Check-ins will help gauge how they are doing with all the changes and uncertainty of the year. Just as our mental health is important, so is theirs. As they cannot necessarily advocate for themselves it is our job to ask questions to help them process. If there is interest, I can definitely go into this more in a later post.

    The only thing you definitely cannot do is read minds. Although we may want to, we cannot be flies on the wall in the classroom. Even as a 4th-grade teacher with a child in a grade 4 classroom, I STILL don’t know what she is doing on the daily. We all struggle with this. We will never know exactly what happened in the day but we can try to give children some tools to help them get through, And trust me, your child’s teacher will thank you. I know I would.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Those Who Can, Teach. Those Who Can’t (And Need To Support Themselves), Take A Mental Health Leave.

    Those Who Can, Teach. Those Who Can’t (And Need To Support Themselves), Take A Mental Health Leave.

    A couple of weeks ago, I went out with two girlfriends who are also teachers. So, of course, at one point the conversation inevitably turned to the profession. The gist of the conversation, and how heated we got when we talked, is what influenced this post.

    Let me start by saying that every job has its ups and downs. Every profession has positive elements and those that are less desirable. And, at one point or another, we have all complained about our jobs. Teachers, however, have somehow earned the medal of “top complainers”. The general consensus is that teachers have nothing to complain about. Summers off, short hours, good pay, and benefits, a bull of a union…. what do we have to be upset about? If that is the case, why are teachers taking more than fifty percent more sick days than a decade ago? Why have mental health leaves skyrocketed? And why is teacher burnout a such common conversation nowadays?

    Teachers used to just teach. I don’t know about you, but when we were in school, the teacher stood at the front of the class, taught a lesson, and then assigned follow-up work – questions from a textbook, a worksheet, or something similar. I remember the thirty minutes of DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time every morning.

    My music teacher used to play his accordion at the front of the class while we sat at our desks and sang along. I can still hear the sound of the AV cart rolling down the hall so we could watch Bill Nye videos for science. Granted, as kids, we didn’t have a good understanding of what the teacher did after hours (I mean, who didn’t think their teacher slept at the school?). I’m not saying teachers didn’t work hard, because I am sure they did, but the expectations were much different than they are today.

    The curriculum of today looks very different than it did a decade ago. The expectations are more rigorous and robust. This provides a much more enriching curriculum for students. However, since there is so much to cover, the understanding is that everything must have a purpose, and be tied into the curriculum. The days of DEAR are gone. Often teachers are told that if there is no follow-up or assessment component, it can’t be done. Reading for the love of it or watching a video to enjoy the content isn’t enough anymore. There must be a specific, curriculum-driven purpose to everything. Now, I don’t necessarily disagree with the thinking behind this. I think that if you cannot justify why you are filling your time with a particular lesson, it may not have a place in the day. Equally, just as in any profession, there are teachers who, if not monitored, would otherwise take advantage of this. And the truth is, with so much curriculum to cover there is very little wiggle room in the day to begin with. But in an effort to enrich the day, we run the risk of removing the love of learning and exploring. For example, there is a true benefit to reading for enjoyment, without worrying that you are going to be assessed on what you are doing. Sadly many students wouldn’t otherwise pick up a book if it was not during school hours. Teachers have very little leeway to exercise these options. Which is all to assume that they understand the options in front of them. Teachers college is fraught with hypotheticals, academic articles and educational history. The academic nature of the programs puts teachers at a huge disservice. When I completed my degree I had three years of once-a-week practicum, and I definitely wasn’t prepared. Teachers now have even less. There is not enough real-world experience to adequately prepare new teachers for their roles.

    If that was all, the job would already be stressful. However, this is only part of the equation. As a teacher today, delivering curriculum is only a component of your job. You are also a social worker, tech support personnel, therapist, confidant, substitute parent and parenting advisor. You can even, at times be a marriage counsellor, verbal punching bag, psychologist, or suicide support interventionist. You have not been trained to do any of these jobs properly, but are expected to put any of those hats on at a moment’s notice (and sometimes more than one simultaneously). Nothing in the system prepares teachers for those roles. Some professionals go to school for years to do these jobs properly. However, in our tapped system they are only available infrequently, and rarely at the moment when they are needed most. Most training and professional development are done during monthly staff meetings, or on teachers’ own time. Courses and training are often offered on a voluntary basis for teachers to complete on their own. The argument from society is that it is part of the job and teachers just have to do it. The argument from the teachers union is it isn’t part of the job and teachers have to say no. Neither one is feasible and there is very little middle ground. Teachers are so many things to so many people. It is rewarding but exhausting.

    Many teachers take their jobs home with them both emotionally and physically. Yes, teachers are allocated a certain amount of prep time in the day, but that is often used to prepare engaging lessons, soothe a student, handle a social disagreement from recess, or phone a parent. Paperwork, report cards (at a time cost of over an hour per student), marking, timely assessment and feedback, and planning are all often taken home in the evening in an effort to catch up.

    None of this is part of the workday. And yes, I am well aware that other professions work after hours. This is a typical counter-argument to teacher concerns. However, they are typically paid for their overtime or paid per project. Granted there are other professions where work is taken home to be completed without overtime, but just because others do it doesn’t make it okay for anyone.

    Taking all of this into account, of course there would be burnout. It only makes sense that all the pressure would become too much for some. I myself fell victim to the pressure pre-covid. A few years ago, I was presented with a class that was like no other. Individually they required inordinate support, much more than I could provide them as one person. Together, their personalities did not mix well. A CYW (child and youth worker) was placed in my classroom for daily support. Together we created a multitude of social skills lessons, which unfortunately did very little to support the class. I felt like an octopus, trying to put out multiple fires at the same time. This was all before I even attempted the curriculum (which many days went right out the window). I began having panic attacks before the students even walked in the door. I would sit in my vice principal’s office and cry out of sheer frustration. I became anxious at school and home. The work-life balance was obliterated. My diminished mental health made it impossible for me to do my job as a teacher AND as a mother. So with the help of my admin and my doctor, I made the decision to take a stress leave. My steps to protect my mental health was the best decision I could have made. It was also the beginning of my journey of self-care advocacy for myself and others.

    I share this because I am a seasoned teacher. I would like to think that I can take most of what the profession throws at me. But at a point in time, it was all too much for me to handle. In the spirit of transparency, even as I reread this post to review it before publishing, I feel tears in my eyes. The stress and toll can, at times, be too much. New teachers who don’t have the experience, and older teachers who have difficulty adapting to the changing landscape of the system are even more at risk. There is real merit to teachers asking for help…. to advocating for more support. Teachers are crying out for more support for their students, their classrooms, and themselves. The system is not build to adequately accomplish this. There is not enough money, time, or hours in the day. There is no easy answer here. It is a systemic issue that will not be fixed overnight.

    This post is not meant to be a “woe is me” rant. It isn’t meant to have others feel sorry for teachers. I am sharing this for those who believe that teachers simply deliver the curriculum, go home at night with a glass of wine, and then enjoy summers off. I am sharing for those who believe that all teachers do is complain, and have no merit to do so. This is especially important as we are set to enter another unprecedented year in the education system. So next time you feel yourself judging a teacher for having the summers off, having an “easy” job, or for complaining too much, I urge you to take a second to think that through.

    This is life. Love, Mom.