Life Love Mom

Author: Leora Kim

  • Gifted Doesn’t Mean You’re Smarter

    Gifted Doesn’t Mean You’re Smarter

    August signals the beginning of the end – the countdown to back to school. Since being a teacher is so much of who I am, I wanted to ensure that I carved a space in this blog for educational topics and specifically gifted education. As an aside, my twitter is dedicated to my teaching journey, so if you are interested in more of that, there is a link to my account at the top of this page. When I tell people that I am a teacher, one of the questions I get asked the most is about gifted education. There is something elusive and mystical about children who are brighter than the rest. The general consensus is that these students are the unicorns of the education system – they follow all instructions, understand everything, and always ask for extra work. I’m here to tell you that this is not the case.

    When I was in school, I had never heard the term “gifted”. Perhaps it was because I went to a private school, but as students, we were all told we were bright and capable. I know that many students were deemed gifted, mainly in public school or by private assessment, but it wasn’t something that had a specific place in my elementary school history. It just wasn’t something I had encountered growing up. When I was earning my Bachelors of Education, there was very little discussion about gifted education. It wasn’t until I completed my the first part of my additional qualification of Special Education that there was talk of the gifted side of special education. In fact, for the whole course there was one class about it (can you hear my sarcasm through the keys??). Throughout my entire Special Education qualification (all three parts), discussion and planning around gifted students seemed like an afterthought. In case you are wondering why this would even be a special education topic, it is because the curriculum is changed to meet the needs of these learners. They have needs that go above and beyond what the regular curriculum has. The absence of this in the courses and teachings further strengthened the idea that gifted students didn’t need to be discussed because there wasn’t anything difficult about working with them. Shame on the system.

    I will be the first to admit that I was hesitant to work with gifted students, as I didn’t want to seem “dumb” or “incapable”. I was offered the position at my current school, having only worked with the students on the other side of the special education spectrum. Those students worried me because in my mind they were all students who were doing university-level math and reading at a high-school level. When we think of these students from a media perspective, we think of savant children who can do anything. All I can think of is the 1991 movie Little Man Tate, about a little boy with extraordinary intelligence. There is a very memorable scene near the beginning when they are trying to teach him to say the word “plate” but he keeps saying “Koffer” instead. They think something is wrong until they realize he is reading the brand of the plate inscribed on the back. What I came to learn very quickly is that, unlike in the movies, gifted doesn’t mean you are smarter than your peers. There is a heavy crown that comes with being labelled gifted.

    The Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC) is a test to measure intelligence in children. It is also the scale used by many school boards as a pre-requisite for the gifted program. It doesn’t measure straight IQ. It looks at verbal (spoken) and non-verbal (pictures, coding) reasoning. This means that when you are gifted, you think differently. It doesn’t mean you can spell out facts like an encyclopedia, or explain how to split an atom. It means that when you look at a problem, your mind tackles it differently. You can reason differently, and look at the world differently. This is not a test that can be studied for or requires reading or writing, much to the chagrin of many parents who are hoping to increase their child’s chances of being placed in that program.

    Why do I bring this up? Because since I began teaching in the gifted program, I begin every year with the same statement. Gifted doesn’t mean you are smarter. The first year I taught in the gifted program, a student came up to me and asked how I became so smart. When I asked her what she meant, she replied that I knew all the answers. After a few moments of thinking about how to craft a response in my head, I told her that I did not know all the answers; I just knew where to look to find them. After I said that, it was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I was no longer scared of not being as smart as my students, or being incapable of answering their questions. It was then that I knew my job was not to answer their questions but to teach them to answer them for themselves. So many students come into the gifted program at the top of their class. They are the students for which academics come easily. They are the ones the teacher doesn’t need to worry about. The system has built them up to think that they are more academically inclined than their peers, which isn’t necessarily the case. Often students have difficulty with social relationships, self-regulation, organization and goal-setting. As I mentioned before, being gifted is not all rainbows and sunshine. There is a heavy crown that comes along with the title.

    As parents, we have to make the best decisions we can for our children. For some, this means a program that is tailored to fit their academic needs (such as a gifted program). For others, it means a program with like-minded individuals might not be the best fit. The key is knowing that there is no one-size-fits-all program for gifted learners. Ironically, Hubby and I discussed that if J had testing in the gifted range, we would not send her to the gifted program, as she loves her current school and the friendships she has forged there. I adore teaching the gifted program, and I would never want to teach any other group. The students can be adventurous, outgoing, inquisitive, or self-driven. However, they can also be shy, socially awkward, anxious, or quirky. They are not perfect but are perfect for me. What they are not, is smarter than everyone else.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    I don’t know about you, but breakfast for dinner is a huge deal in our house. I’ll be honest, it’s my second favourite meal after brunch. Breakfast for dinner is a super-easy way to get all the food groups into my kiddos quickly and easily. It usually involves some kind of egg (scrambled, fried, or omelette style) and waffles. Keep reading for some of my favourite mom-hacks and flavour combinations. Now, I am not here to preach to you about no sugar, all-natural, gluten-free food. In our house, we believe in everything in moderation. If you are a mom who makes everything from scratch that is all-natural and without any preservatives or sugar, give me your address and I’ll send you your medal. That is not who I am.

    Waffles are not an everyday meal, but we do enjoy them. So when I make the kids waffles, I use pancake mix. My preference is the mix where you add an egg and milk, but I don’t always find it that convenient because you need to make a set amount. These days, we are loving the Krusteaz mix from Costco (or found here https://amzn.to/2V1y5WK).

    MOM HACK #1: I do try to make the waffles a bit healthier by adding a teaspoon of ground flax and/or chia. These ingredients help bump up the fibre and omegas without messing with the taste. Don’t forget to keep both of those items in your fridge for maximum freshness.

    MOM HACK #2: This is a great place to throw in some fruit for your picky eaters. Frozen blueberries work perfectly here.

    I won’t include a specific recipe here, because the best thing to do is to play around with the flavour combinations. Simply make the waffles according to the instructions on your box, and throw in some extras. Just make sure to grease your waffle iron well, especially if you are using cheese. My kids love savoury waffles, too! Here are some things we are loving these days:

    • Mini chocolate chips (a couple tablespoons only, a little goes a long way)
    • Pomegranate seeds and slivered almonds
    • Cinnamon and vanilla
    • Frozen blueberries or raspberries
    • Shredded mozzarella cheese and garlic powder
    • Everything seasoning (you won’t regret this one, trust me!)
    • Shredded cheddar cheese and pickled jalapenos

    MOM HACK #3: If you own a waffle iron like mine, the plates do not come off, which makes it super fun to clean. When I am done cooking, turn the iron back on and put a wet paper towel inside for a few seconds. Make sure the paper towel is pretty wet but not dripping, and do NOT walk away from the iron. The wet towel will create some steam and help lift the sticky bits off the griddle (or in my case, the top of the castle), making it easier to clean.

    As with other recipes, I love trying new food combinations. J is a super foodie, and loves to come up with her own, too. If you make this recipe, please feel free to tag me on Instagram, or comment here with your favourite flavours for us to try!

    And don’t forget – waffle mix, like everything else in life, is OKAY in moderation!

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Love Handles And Other Things We Hold On To

    Love Handles And Other Things We Hold On To

    People like to talk about growth, and how life-changing new experiences can be. We preach the goodness of looking towards the future, and how the past is behind us. We all want to think that we value these learning experiences, and welcome them. Don’t get me wrong- these are all important ideas to value, and in many cases it is easier to look forward than back. But when it comes down to it, change is hard for most people, especially when that change is related to our most valuable possession – our bodies. We hold a picture in our minds of how we should look; based either on an idea or a past season of life. For many, this correlates to a size, weight, measurement, or another number. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we all want to be smaller, thinner or weigh less. It could mean we want to bulk up, gain muscle, or weigh more. But for whatever reason, how we look does not line up with how we feel about ourselves. There is often a nagging feeling that “if only” we could change something, or go back to the way we once were, we would be happier.

    There is a special place in this hell of a landscape for mothers. Body image is a dangerous term. I would argue that for many, it may be one of the most emotionally charged terms in the English language. It is tied so tightly to so much more than just how we see ourselves. The mental ramifications of studying our bodies can be damning. The obsessing, seeing flaws, and urge to fix things is a slippery slope. As mothers in particular, society does us no favours. The same body that is praised for growing and bringing life into the world is quickly frowned upon for not “bouncing back” fast enough. We attach descriptives like glowing, radiant and healthy to pregnant bodies, and then turn around and call those same, postpartum bodies tired, flabby, and untoned.

    The moment mothers give birth, the race is on to erase the stretch marks, tighten the love handles, and tone the core. Celebrities who leave the hospital looking runway-ready, or grace the cover of magazines in bikinis a mere months after giving birth, do us all a huge disservice. We look to how our bodies were before babies and yearn for those back, as if all it took was a time machine. We don’t relish the beauty and miracle that same body has given us.

    In the spirit of transparency, I am equally guilty of this. I often think back to my pre-pregnancy body, and equate it with a number on the scale and a size of jeans. For a long time, I hid my stretch marks, even from myself. The body that grew two humans was not what I wanted it to be. Why is it I was able to carry two wonderful, healthy babies to term, and still judge the body that made it possible? Even to this day, I struggle with loving my outer shell. I have worn one-piece bathing suits since I was pregnant nine years ago, only bought a bikini last year… and I still don’t feel 100% confident in it. It is a journey and gets easier or harder depending on the season I am in. Anyone who says that social media, advertisements and popular culture have zero effect on them is in denial. Those people may have a stronger inner voice than others, but the messages (subliminal and overt) are constantly thrown at us. I have recently begun following several body-conscious influencers on Instagram to help inform my mindset. If you are looking for some, Sarah Nicole Landry (aka The Bird’s Papaya) is a great start. I feel fortunate that these women are making their voices heard, and have been embraced by others. There hasn’t always been a place for these stories, but they are slowly becoming louder and louder.

    It is a unique form of torture we keep only for our deepest, darkest moments.

    So why do we hold on to these ideals? These past images of ourselves? Keep clothes in our closet so we can wear them again eventually? Or perseverate on unrealistic goals that will somehow determine our self-worth? It is a unique form of torture we keep only for our deepest, darkest moments. Why is it so easy to preach self-love and self-care, but so difficult to exercise them? We tell each other to treat ourselves with grace and patience, yet it is so difficult to take our own advice. Society simultaneously tells women to be perfect versions of themselves, but also to take care of themselves and not worry about what others think. For my part, I have to commend Hubby for having my back. He often tells me to shake off the negative self-thoughts. There is a stark contrast between these polarizing ideas, and it is so difficult to meet somewhere in the middle. It would be so much easier to just say “screw it” and live for ourselves and not for others. It is just easier said than done.

    Having a daughter has changed my outlook, though. With diet culture and social media barbies running rampant, I am acutely aware of the messages she is receiving. I know that as she grows, she will [continue to] be bombarded with print and television media ideas of what she should look like. I just don’t want those messages to come from me, too. I have always been conscious of not commenting on my weight in front of her. That is a private conversation I have inside my head. Those are the demons that I battle on my own time. J sees me exercising and hears me talking about eating healthy, but we always frame the conversation about how it is to keep our minds healthy and feel good about ourselves. We talk about makeup, and how I wear it for myself, and not to look beautiful for others. I stress the importance of doing things for ourselves to boost our positive vibrations, and not as a result of others’ judgements. The other day she commented on my stretch marks, and I told her we should come up with a magic word for them because they magically appeared when she was born. Did I believe it when I said it? Honestly not even for a hot second. But I wanted to try to be positive about it. I want her to love her body, and talk positively about herself, even if I am still learning how to do so. Of all the things I want to pass on to my daughter, negative body image is definitely not one of them.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Another Trip Around The Sun

    Another Trip Around The Sun

    Last week was my birthday… 38 trips around the sun. Would you believe me if I told you I actually had to think about how old I was? There are days where I think I’m 36 and days when I feel 45. I’m not exactly sure why that is. It’s probably a combination of mom-brain, pandemic life and sheer denial. It got my wondering when I stopped counting the days until my birthday. When I got into my 20s, aging became a bit of a scary thing. I was never one to take the day off for by birthday, or plan a large party. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but I have never really been a fan of celebrating my birthday. Don’t get me wrong – I love celebrating OTHERS’ milestones, just not my own.

    I remember when we were kids, we would count our age by 1/2 and 3/4. Turning double-digits or becoming a teenager was a big deal. N is turning 6 in August and proudly walks around telling people he is 5 and a half. Children can’t wait to become full-fledged adults. They can’t wait to be independent, make their own decisions, and grow up to be paleontologist-power ranger-dancers or vet-baker-babysitters. N can’t wait to grow up because it means he can own a snake as a pet and ride a motorcycle. J, ever the more thoughtful child, can’t wait to grow up because it means she can become more mature and have a family of her own. As children, we race to hit those milestones but as adults we dread them. Why is that? Somewhere along the line, the idea of ageing hits us like a ton of bricks, and we no longer embrace it. Instead, we inject it with botox and fillers and hope it fades into the background.

    I think part of it has to do with the idea that we want to slow down time. As parents in particular, there is a stark juxtaposition between wanting time to stop, not believing how fast things are going, and wanting to skip to the next stage. For me, time never felt like it went as fast as when I became a parent. There is something about living your life through your children that makes things go by real fast. To say that you want to freeze time is probably one of the most cliche parental statements. We want to keep our children in these little time capsules and keep them young and innocent.

    At the same time, though, we want to skip forward over the messy stuff. There is a part of us that thinks “things will be better when……” (insert the milestone of your choosing here). We are so certain that we just need to get over a particular hurdle and it will be peachy on the other side. SPOILER ALERT! It never gets better or worse, just different. There is always going to be another hurdle, mess, or milestone. My parents like to tell me that I have it easy right now, I just have to wait until they are teenagers – just another hurdle. I’m certain there is a lot of truth to that, as well.

    The other part, I strongly believe, is that being an adult is HARD. Some days, it feels like it’s overrated. The fountain of youth and everything that goes with it exists so we can relive the days when we had no fears, anxieties, or a true understanding of what this world really is. There are still so many days when I can’t believe I’m an adult. I have these fleeting thoughts… moments when I’m driving home or doing something around the house…. where I cannot believe I am living on my own.

    I talk to Hubby about this all the time. I tell him I can’t believe we *were* children, and now we *have* children, a house, a dog, a family, and all those other adult responsibilities. There are days when being an adult seems like an impossible task. When all I want to do is turn back the clock and go back to university when I THOUGHT things were exhausting. Boy, was I ever wrong! As a society make light of it in memes and comics; because sometimes humour is the only way to make our way through.

    So what do all of these ramblings mean? What is the point, really? As Jimmy Buffett says, birthdays are for “celebrating what I should have done, with these souvenirs of my trip around the sun”. The should’ve, could’ve, would’ve will continue to live inside my head, never going away. But those souvenirs he speaks so highly of? That would be my family. Hubby, J, N, and even the fur baby…. they are my reason for getting up and adulting every day. When the days are easy, when they are hard, and when they feel next to impossible. It definitely isn’t perfect but I would take 100 more trips around the sun if I could to spend more time with them. And that in itself is something to be celebrated.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • That Dirty Little Word

    That Dirty Little Word

    In today’s social media, direct-messaging, online world, you have undoubtedly heard the term “multi-level marketing” or MLM. This term encompasses many companies from Herbalife to Beachbody to Tupperware and a plethora of beauty suppliers. Wait… which dirty would did you think I was going to talk about?? While you all get your minds out of the gutter, let me give you a bit of a backstory.

    Almost everyone has encountered an MLM-style company at one point in their lives. I can remember Avon catalogues in dental offices and other waiting rooms. Years ago, no one knocked women for selling creams and shampoos to help support their families. They were celebrated for finding a side-hustle and making some extra income. Avon and the like weren’t dirty, scammy companies. They were avenues to empower women.

    Fast forward to today, and watch people’s faces change when you mention an MLM. Unless they are familiar with the way these companies work, they will run in the other direction faster than you can say “nail polish”. If they stay long enough to get a word out, they will most likely tell you all about pyramid schemes and why MLMs are all scams in sheep’s clothing. They will tell you about so-and-so in their circle of friends who became a consultant and hounded them to buy whatever product they were selling that day. Or how they were added to multiple online parties without their consent and were spammed with messages about buying the flavour of the day.

    So, I’m here to set the record straight, since stories like this simply break my heart. Let’s start with the obvious question: what IS a pyramid scheme? A pyramid scheme is an illegal business model. It involves recruiting people and having them pay into a company with the promise of success, without getting anything in return. With MLM companies, you are selling products. This is a key (and legal) difference. Yes, they are both structured with someone at the top, and many people below them, but name me a company that ISN’T structured like that?? Pyramid structures recruit people with the allure of financial gain, only to bring the opposite. MLMs do recruit others, but with the promise of a business model and products to sell.

    In my humble opinion, multi-level marketing companies have suffered the same fate as many other businesses. A bunch of people, who don’t know how to do things properly, ruin it for everyone else. The same is true for lawyers, real estate agents, and car salespeople. Everyone has a story about the sleazy, money-hungry professional who didn’t have their best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean there aren’t amazing ones (heck, I’m married to one!), but what sticks out are the bad apples. When MLMs exploded in the industry, so many people flooded the market without training or social know-how. They began creating parties, inviting everyone on their social media, and trying to recruit everyone they knew. They came off as sketchy without even meaning to. But, in the process, they gave these companies a bad name. Now, the moment people hear you are working with an MLM, they think you are going to message you relentlessly to try to sell you everything and the kitchen sink, and then try to recruit you for their downline.

    By now, you will probably realize where I stand in the MLM world. For many years I was a part of a company where I thrived personally and professionally. It started as a side-hustle but gave me a source of passion and happiness. What’s more, I gained a family. These are women I have never met in person, but I know would have my back. Together we have celebrated milestones, and gotten to know each other on a deeper level. In my heyday, I ranked as a team manager, with over 50 women in my downline. Together, with my upline leaders, we trained women how to sell strategically – without jeopardizing friendships or their integrity. Sadly, the company took a turn. It turned hands several times, and the dynamic changed. It was something that became difficult to get behind. Many of us ended up leaving, knowing we needed to be able to support what we were selling. But in the back of our minds we were nervous that the shoes of the original company were too big to fill, that we would never find that family-vibe again.

    This was true….. until now. It seems the MLM world can’t get rid of me that easily. I was recently introduced to a company that is in its infancy in Canada. It has already been around in the United States market and has moved into Canadian waters, as well. When I heard that it created gel strips for nails (similar to the last company I worked with) AND included many of the women from the previous company, how could I NOT say yes?? There will definitely be more to come. So stay tuned. On the change something here struck a chord, and you want to join me on this journey, then let me know. And don’t worry – it will all be legal 😉

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Foolproof Banana Bread

    Foolproof Banana Bread

    I have always loved baking. Cookies, bread, muffins, and granolas – I honestly love them all. It is one of my major stress-relievers. I think it has to do with something with being able to control what I put into the recipe. Once J was old enough to start eating solids, I began experimenting with healthier ingredients. I love making healthier versions of favourites, and “tricking” my family into eating things that are better for them.

    When I started dreaming up my blog, I knew that recipes had to be a part of it. My go-to recipe is this banana bread. I have made it so many times that I know the recipe by heart. I started with a recipe from Simply Recipes years ago and made adjustments as I went. Each time I changed a little bit until one day it was perfect! When I was thinking about my favourite recipes I knew that my banana bread was the place I needed to start. It is my most requested recipe for potlucks and brunches. One of the things I love is that the recipe is very forgiving. It’s no-fuss, one bowl, and so easy my kids can help with 75% of it! I love to change up the mix-ins. I have put some combo suggestions at the bottom of this post. My favourite way to bake it is in a glass pan that comes with a lid. Then it’s super easy to bake and store (if you even have any left afterwards haha) I’ve linked one similar here (https://amzn.to/3Ahh1wb)

    SOME TIPS: (1) If you have too many bananas going bad, this is the perfect time to make banana bread. If you aren’t ready to make it right then and there, unpeel them and freeze them in a ziploc bag. Then take them out and let them thaw for about 30 minutes before you are ready to bake. (2)I have played around with the all purpose/whole wheat flour rations. I find 2:1 is a good combination. Any more whole wheat flour and it becomes more grainy. If you wanted to forgo the whole wheat flour and only use all-purpose, you can definitely do that! (3) Lastly, if you are adding something sweet, you can safely cut back on the sugar a bit more to 2/3 of a cup. The original recipe had a full cup of sugar but that was more sugar for me.

    Ingredients

    3 large (or 4 small) smashed, ripe bananas

    1/3 cup melted butter or melted coconut oil

    3/4 cup white or coconut sugar

    1 egg, beaten

    1 teaspoon vanilla

    1 teaspoon baking soda

    1/2 teaspoon salt

    1 cup all purpose flour

    1/2 cup whole wheat flour

    1/2 cup mix-ins of your choice

    (see note at the bottom)

    Method

    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit
    2. Mix bananas and melted butter or coconut oil in a bowl
    3. In the same bowl add the sugar, egg and vanilla
    4. Mix in the baking soda, and salt
    5. Mix the flour and your mix-ins in last. Make sure not to over mix
    6. Pour into a greased loaf pan and bake for 40-60 mins. This will depend on your oven so make sure to check! When I bake on a convection setting it only takes about 40 minutes. It will be ready when a tester comes out clean. TIP: If you find the bread is getting too brown on top, you can cover it with a piece of tinfoil for part of the baking process.

    Looking for some great mix-in combos?

    Here are some of my favourites:

    • White chocolate chip and pecans
    • Dark chocolate chips and peanut butter chips
    • Milk chocolate chips and walnuts
    • Chocolate chunks
    • Butterscotch chips
    • Swirling in 2 tbsp of melted nutella or nut butter before you bake it (I have even mixed in a little bit of Wow Butter for a school-friendly option!)

    I baked a dark chocolate and pecan version for this post. I LOVE hearing about and trying new flavour combos. Comment and tell me what you would mix into your banana bread. Or better yet, make it and tag me on Instagram! You can find the link at the top of this page.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • When Two Worlds Collide

    When Two Worlds Collide

    Prior to teaching, I worked for a non-profit foundation that ran programs for individuals with developmental disabilities. When I started, I knew very little about the community. Children with autism, developmental delays, and cognitive deficits were only something I read about when completing my psychology degree. I embraced the opportunity, as new as it was. I quickly went from a volunteer to a support staff, to the program coordinator for an entire department. As the coordinator, I ran recreational programs for children and teens. I hired and staffed teams, and then trained those teams. I immediately grew passionate about this vulnerable population. It became the topic of my undergrad psychology thesis. I even put off teaching for a year to continue to pursue the role.

    The part I loved the most, was the problem-solving. Individuals with developmental disabilities can be prone to aggressive and socially-inappropriate behaviours. When staff couldn’t manage the behaviours, I was called in as backup. Most often, I was able to de-escalate situations. I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I was nervous walking into those situations. I would ask myself how I could help with the behaviour, what if I wasn’t sure what to do? What if someone was going to be injured? What if I was going to be injured? But wouldn’t you know it – the worst way to walk into a situation like that is unconfident. So ultimately, I had to fake it to make it. Staff called me because they needed support. So I HAD to be that physical and emotional support – for better or for worse.

    When I started teaching, it was a direct bridge from the social work field. I was hired to work with a very high-needs student, who exhibited a great deal of aggression. My past training and background helped me to manage this environment. The same “fake it till you make it” thinking helped to support me. Together with an incredible support staff team, we tried our best to manage this student and help him succeed. It was definitely a trying and nerve-wracking position, but I powered through.

    So why was it, when I began teaching a gifted classroom on the other end of the special education spectrum, my nerves returned? When I was a new teacher, I felt relatively confident working parents. All except for one group – parents who were also teachers. When I was still early in my career, I did not have the confidence to always support my professional decisions. When I was speaking with parents who were teachers, I was always nervous that they would question my teaching. This is especially true since I was still learning my profession. I was learning the curriculum, and how to deliver, extend and assess it all at the same time. A tall order for a seasoned teacher, and even more so for a brand new one. It was only once I had a few years under my belt that I began to feel confident supporting my decisions to other teachers.

    And then….. I got pregnant. I told Hubby that I would be the parent that I dreaded as a new teacher. I would be the one that called the teacher and asked a plethora of questions. The thorn in the teacher’s side. I didn’t want to be, but I was certain that that’s how I was going to be wired as a mom. And he laughed, agreed, and told me that he would be the one to deal with the teachers (plot twist, at times I am actually the calmer one, haha).

    The truth is, when speaking to my children’s teachers, I try very hard to reign in the “crazy teacher-mom” part of me. I don’t email from my professional account, and I give them space to do their own thing. I try to separate church and state as best I can. This is how I would want to be treated as a teacher. It isn’t perfect, I mean, they DO know within 5 minutes of speaking to me that I am a teacher. It’s probably because I use words only teachers would use. Who else inserts words like assessment, curriculum and differentiation into a conversation??

    Wearing both hats is a challenge, and it’s one I don’t take lightly. I try very, very hard not to wear my teacher hat at home. Although I can tell you that doesn’t always happen. Especially when both kiddos were learning to read and write. And if I’m being honest, I don’t think being a teacher makes me a better mom, but I DO think that being a mom has made me a better teacher. I am able to speak to parents with shared experiences and relate to them on a different level. It helps me better communicate with them because I think about how I would want to receive the information.

    With all that being said, J is going into grade 4 in September. This will be the first time I have first-hand knowledge and understanding of the curriculum my child is learning. It will be the first time that one of my children will be in the same grade I teach. So it is yet to be seen how much I will actually take my own advice and mellow out when talking to her teachers…..

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • We Are All Bad Moms

    We Are All Bad Moms

    When I decided I wanted to start a blog, I knew in my heart this needed to be the first post. As cliche as it sounds, being a mom truly is the hardest job in the world. Yes, it’s the most satisfying but it is definitely not all rainbows and sunshine. When J was 2, I distinctly remember having a conversation with a friend. She had a daughter J’s age, and an older son. I told her that I was happy the “terrible twos” were almost done and asked her when it gets easier. Without skipping a beat, she replied “it doesn’t”. We laughed at the time – a laugh that was a combination of humour and fear.

    Remember the scene in “Bad Moms” where Mila Kunis announces to the entire PTA that every mom is a bad mom? (Sidebar, if you haven’t seen this movie, it’s a must see. I highly suggest you check it out!) Mila’s character goes on to say that sometimes she’s too strict, sometimes she’s too lenient. She laments that what works for one child almost never works for the other. Well I don’t know about you, but I was not-so-secretly raising my hands along with her. There is something freeing about knowing that being a “bad mom” is okay. That not every decision has to be perfect. It should be just that easy, right?

    Except it’s not. As moms, we are our own worst critics. We scrutinize every inch of our decisions with that little voice in our heads. Are we feeding our children too much? Too little? Are they too short? Too tall? Are they outside enough? Too much? Every decision is a rubiks cube of emotions and a see-saw of back and forth. It starts the day they are born, and it never stops. Never gets old. Never lets go. Don’t get me wrong, dads do this too. Some, even more so than moms. But there is a special place in our heads for mom-guilt. We feel guilty when we’re doing it, and we feel guilty if we’re not. There is no end to the madness.

    As a mom, my first years were trial by fire. I have never been good at learning as I go. I am a planner, an organizer, and a chronic over-thinker. This is starkly juxtaposed by Hubby who is a feeler and a doer. We do end up balancing each other out, which is good since two of the same would be a serious nightmare. I thought I could plan out life with a child, but life doesn’t give you that choice. So I was forced to maneuver through motherhood like the proverbial bull in a china shop. There were days I thought I has it all figured out, and there were days where I thought I was an absolutely failure. But when I look back, and look at my children now, I think we managed through it alright.

    Society doesn’t do mothers any favours. Mila’s “Bad Mom’s character states in her rant that being a mom today is impossible. Every now and then, first time mothers ask me for advice (and let me clear this is NOT unsolicited advice as society loves to dole out to moms….). My number one piece of advice is that motherhood is not just rainbows and sunshine. Feeding your baby is not going to be natural. They are not going to latch right away. They are not going to grab at the bottle immediately. It’s not like they show in the movies, and it definitely isn’t spoken about enough. Movies and tv shows will show moms as being perfect, and that everything will come naturally – from the moment they birth out a perfect 6-month infant. The mom is able to breast-feed perfectly, and the baby sleeps through the night on day 1. Then the mom wakes up super refreshed and dewy-faced, ready to face the day. This is so far from reality, it hurts to even type it. As moms, we need to talk to one another, and share the “ugly truths”.

    So what are these ugly truths? We are all, in some way, shape, or form, a bad mom. It doesn’t get better. But it does get easier for a hot minute. We will get into a groove and figure most things out. Then our children will grow, change, or evolve and we will be back to the beginning. Nothing is perfect. There is definitely no such thing as a perfect mom (no matter what you see on social media). The more we share this with one another, the more normal it will feel. And then maybe, one day, we won’t feel so guilty.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Well Hello There….

    Well Hello There….

    Well, hello there! Grab a cup of coffee and let me introduce myself. My name is Leora. Being introspective and describing oneself is not always the easiest to do. The top three roles that describe me are wife, mom and teacher. So, that’s a great place to start. A little more about each of those:

    ~Hubby and I have been married for 10 years, together for 14. We had big plans for a 10-year getaway, but alas, COVID…. More on that in later posts.

    ~ I am a mom to two firecrackers and one furbaby. J is 8 and N is 5. Bella is a 12 year old Boxer-Australian Shepherd mix. They are a big source for my content, so you’ll be hearing a lot about them.

    ~I have been a teacher for over a decade. I teach grade 4 gifted students. I love the quirky, inquisitive challenge of gifted children. I wouldn’t want to work with any other age group. I have gained a lot of wisdom over the years that I can’t wait to share with you. If you want a sneak peak, check out my YouTube channel which is a Q&A all about gifted education.

    In addition, I have some loves that I am eager to talk about. Self care practices have been HUGE for me these last few years. My side hustle for years has been selling nail art for a beauty company. I love sharing ways to help women feel beautiful. I have always baked as a way to combat stress (subtext, get ready for some recipe posts!) but I have adopted other ways to manage as well. Yoga, exercise, breathing, and becoming a crazy plant lady are just a few!

    Now if you’ve gotten this far in the post, you are most likely wondering “Why a blog? Why now?” and contemplating whether I have simply jumped on a bandwagon. That, friends, is not the case. For as long as I can remember, I have felt the most comfortable writing down my thoughts. I communicate best in writing, where I can articulate my thinking. Having a blog has always been something I wanted to do, but never had the time to pursue it. Thanks to pushes from Hubby, I am officially making the time. I have so many things I want to share with you all.

    I would love for you to come on this wild ride with me. Being a woman, mom, wife, professional, and sane human all at the same time is a tall order. Join me as a navigate through them all, one musing as a time.

    This is life. Love, Mom.