Life Love Mom

Tag: mom

  • The {Dreaded} Elf On The Shelf

    The {Dreaded} Elf On The Shelf

    There are very few holiday traditions that are as polarizing as the “Elf on the Shelf”. Whether or not you participate in having an elf in your home may actually be more controversial than apple pie vs. pecan pie. If you are not familiar with the elf, here is a bit of a backstory. It began as a storybook in the early 2000s. About ten years later, the book was turned into a short animated film, and the elf dolls were born. The premise behind the book and subsequent film is that an elf arrives before Christmas and watches to ensure children are behaving. Then, at night, the elf flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa. When it returns home, it lands in a different place and in the morning children have to find it. Many households love the elf tradition. I originally learned about it from my sister-in-law when she began having the elf “visit” annually. In fact, even as my niece and nephew grew older and knew the elf was merely a toy, she still had it move around and do silly things, and they enjoyed finding it just as much. There are some families, however, who either participate begrudgingly or refuse to at all.

    According to a 2012 article written when the elf was just released “It’s a marketing juggernaut dressed up as a “tradition.” Yes, all traditions are ultimately man-made and therefore artificial, but there’s something uniquely fake about the Elf.” (https://www.theatlantic.com/) The article goes on to ask “Why inject a note of fear and suspicion into a season and a holiday that are meant to be about love, togetherness, and forgiveness? Perhaps, Christmas aside, raising morally aware children requires we go several steps beyond the concept of a naughty/nice dichotomy.”

    I agree with some of the sentiments of what is written here. But I think that this is a very myopic view. The concept of naughty/nice did not originate from the elf, it rather capitalizes on it. There are scores of songs and stories about being nice so Santa comes and gives you a gift, instead of a lump of coal. While there may be truth to what is written in the article, I think that you should try and participate in whatever brings you joy. There are ways to play into the Elf on the Shelf that aren’t all-or-nothing. For example, if children are being naughty, or have made poor choices, it doesn’t mean that Santa isn’t coming at all. It’s a reminder to be mindful and a chance to ask for forgiveness for negative behaviour. How many of us have threatened to call Santa at one point or another? This is no different. If there is anything this pandemic has taught us, it is that life is short – live it with love. Ironically, some parents have taken the pandemic and used it to their advantage – putting the elf into quarantine for the first 14 days so they don’t have to move it as often. I’ll admit, that is a fun idea, but I also enjoy how much J and N laugh when they wake up in the morning.

    Our elf, Chingu, (which is the Korean word for “friend”), came to us about 5 years ago. Since then it has been no small task coming up with ideas for how she can get into mischief. Like many, our elf is very silly and gets into a lot of things. Yes, sometimes she is in a different spot every day (my fall-back when I forget to move her around), but she also does funny things. Our elf comes on December 1, and always brings an advent calendar for each of the kids. I have to say, I enjoy trying to be creative and come up with new ideas. I am at the point where I will surely need to recycle past ideas, but that’s okay! As I mentioned before, it is all in good fun.

    Arriving with calendars

    Like anything else, I think that it has to work with your family. There is a general, almost audible sigh that comes from parents who don’t enjoy the task, and feel that they have to one-up their children’s friends. There are scores of Facebook mom-group posts lamenting about the dreaded elf, and ideas for how to place it. There are Pinterest boards and Instagram accounts dedicated to this tiny doll. There are also Etsy kits where people have planned out the entire month of “placements” for the elf. I also know of people who have had the elf “break a leg” so they cannot move for extended periods.

    If you are an “elf home” – the countdown begins! If not, that’s okay, too. And, if you are in need of some ideas, here are some past favourites of mine:

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • How To Become A Pinterest Mom

    How To Become A Pinterest Mom

    The idea of a Pinterest mom is simple, really. You spend your free time making Halloween costumes, organizing your home with countless woven baskets, baking healthy meals from scratch and making school lunches filled with cucumbers shaped like flowers and sandwiches shaped like zoo animals. No outing is too small for full makeup and polished hair. You have everything together, and show off your impeccable fashion sense in perfectly curated social media posts. You make weekly trips to your local craft store to stock up on DIY projects you will do with your kids. This is the 21st-century reincarnation of an idea that has been around since the beginning of time.

    There are so many women who wish their lives looked more like a page out of a magazine (or social media square). They want their home to be impeccable, all facets of life to be perfect, and be able to do it all (and do it all perfectly). I’m here today to spill the secret of how to evolve into this ethereal being. So want to know how? Step 1: It will not happen 100% of the time. Step 2: Find a new dream.

    If this all sounds ridiculous, we can now be friends. The truth is, we may (or may not) have elements of this in all of us. We might be good at one aspect of our lives and struggling in others. To some extent, this insanity goes both ways. I know women who are amazing at certain things but get embarrassed when it is pointed out. Instead of celebrating our accomplishments, we minimize them to avoid feeling boastful or braggy. This shouldn’t be the case either! I have friends who sew their children’s Halloween costumes from scratch. I have friends to make their own snacks. I, myself try and bake when I can. But I also have friends who run out on October 30 to find a Halloween costume for their kids and those who stock up on snacks when there’s a sale at Walmart. Does one or the other make them bad mothers? Absolutely not! Each judge themselves for what they canning can’t do? Probably to some extent.

    Truly, though, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we put so many unrealistic expectations on ourselves, and then feel awful when we don’t live up to them? In theory, we should be happy with our lives and not worry about what others think. But everyone knows that is not actually true. It is so much easier said than done to brush things off and say that we don’t care. Now let me be clear, I do know that some people genuinely don’t care and more power to them. But these women are the unicorns of our society.

    So why is the judgement of others so important to us? Why is our happiness affected by how others perceive our accomplishments, and how effectively we have our shit together? As the “judger”, it is a bit easier to explain. The psychology behind this is that we judge one another because we have inadequacies in ourselves. Those who judge others’ decisions are projecting their feelings onto others.

    And I can see how this is true, but what does it say about how we judge ourselves? What does it say about how we worry that we will be judged by others? The thinking is a defence mechanism of sorts. We plan for what others might think so we can know how to react. Or we judge ourselves first before anyone else gets a chance to. But why can’t we just be confident and have THAT be projected onto others? Tell anyone who thinks otherwise where they can go….? There is a saying that we are our own worst critics, and this fits well here.

    I have come to terms with the fact that I am not perfect. There are areas that I want to improve, for sure. But there is no way I can be everything to everyone. It is just mathematically impossible to give 100% in more than one place. My house will never be spotless (unless I’ve just finished a rage-cleaning binge). My kids will eat pre-packaged snacks. My life will not look like a Pinterest board.

    Most days, I am okay with this. I focus on the positives and what I AM able to accomplish on that day. I shrug off my own insecurities and try not to be bothered by others. But other days are darker. I look at others’ social media through green eyes. I am jealous of those who can do more, do better, accomplish things I cannot. I judge myself before others can “get to me”. It creeps into my dreams and wakes me up at night. I have been told by others that I am rather outspoken, sometimes without a filter. That I can share my thoughts with others and I am not afraid of judgement. I can put on a tough shell, and pretend I am invincible. But in reality that is just not the case. What we see is rarely what we get. And I think THAT is the point. I would like to imagine that even “Pinterest moms” have those insecure days. Because it will never be enough and no one will ever truly have it all together, even if it looks that way through our lens. The sooner we realize this, the happier we probably will be.

    Social Comparison Theory proposes that we determine our worth by comparing ourselves to others. In fact according to Psychology Today, as much as 10% of our thoughts are comparison in nature. Did that surprise you? There are days when I feel like it’s more… The point is that no one is immune to this struggle and we are all fighting it in our own way. So what is the answer? Just like the secret to becoming the perfect mom – there isn’t one. It is human nature to judge ourselves and compare ourselves to others. That can be a motivator or a deterrent – do we want to use it to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and try something new, or is it worth it to bother? I think that happiness lies not in trying to ignore these comparisons or brush them aside, but in harnessing them and using them to motivate us to be better. To try something new, cook a new dish, read a new book, or redecorate with a new rug – not perfect (because nothing should be), but better.

    This is not to say that this is working for me, and I can tell you that it will definitely be easier to adopt this mindset on good days over the darker ones. But, I will give it a try.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Lest We Forget

    Lest We Forget

    This past week was Remembrance Day. The day we set aside to thank those who have fought for our freedom… those who have survived, and those who have sacrificed. As Canadians, we are living in a free, democratic society, as a result of what others before us gave up. When I think about Remembrance Day, my mind automatically goes to World War II. As the granddaughter of a holocaust survivor, the atrocities of the past weigh heavily on me. The holocaust was something that robbed us of our heritage. It took away family members I would never meet. It put scars on our hearts as we heard stories as if they were movies. I am part of the last generation who will hear, first hand, what occurred. They say that the most powerful way to learn of experiences is to hear from the mouth of the person who experienced them. My children will never have that. Generations after them will never have that.

    I understand how those who have family members who went through earlier wars must feel. First-hand accounts of those experiences are few and far between. We must rely on books, movies, and second-hand stories. It is important, but never the same. This is even more prevalent for me as I raise my own children. I want them to understand their history – the events that shaped their ancestors. “Lest we forget” means we must remember what has happened. It cannot be forgotten in hopes that history will never be repeated. It isn’t about holding a grudge, but about honouring what our ancestors gave up (willing or not) in order to give us a better life.

    Part of honouring that is allowing their voices to be heard. Years ago, before his death, my sister interviewed my grandfather for a school project about the holocaust. I am forever grateful to her for doing this. At the time, I don’t think we understood the true gift she was giving us. So today I wanted to honour his memory by using this space to share his story, unedited and in his own words.

    How was your family affected and where were they sent?

    I don’t know where they went. The last time I saw them was in 1942 right after Yom Kippur night. My father got up in the middle of the night and he saw guys in black uniforms standing. In the morning everybody had to go out. We went out and I remember this was my cousin Morris’s sister, my brother my sister and myself. My mother divided us and she gave a few bucks to everyone to put away because we were thinking that we were going to a camp. There were standing there Germans from the German S.S. and they were directing one to the left and one to the right. I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t know where my father and sister were going or where my brothers were going. We went and they sent us to a factory and this was the last time that I saw my parents. This was the day after Yom Kippur. Later on, we went to an ammunition factory. When I was there it was 1942. They took us in some cars or wagons. They put us in and they disinfected us. Later on, they sent us to a garage on top where everyone was sleeping together- all the men. I hardly ever saw a woman at this time. What happened next was I had been there for about a month and a half and I didn’t know anything and I met another guy. We decided we were going to run away. We ran out and it was at night and the doors were open. This was a big factory and we came in. Trains were going out slowly. Later we jumped off one of the trains. We jumped next to a small ghetto. As I went in there were barbed wire fences and Polish police.

    So, later on, I started going to a place where they were making iron. I got a job there and I was working, coming and going every morning. I started to get restless and I was trying to run out of this ghetto. On the way back there were forty people in an ammunition factory called Hemro. When I was coming, the guy started checking and he saw forty-one people. They started asking everybody but nobody wanted to say anything. He said that if the person who shouldn’t be there didn’t come out because there were forty-one, he was going to shoot ten! So, I went out. There was a butcher shop over there. So the guy kicked me and he threw me into the butcher shop, didn’t ask any questions, this German policeman. He kicked me and he let me go.

    On the sixteenth of January 1945 they took us all out and they sent us to Germany. To Buchenvald. And I wound up there and on the way in I was looking and I saw my cousin Leon on the other side. He was going out already and we were going in. I said, “What’s doing over there?” He said it was nothing, they just put powder on your arms and they shaved your head and they let you go out. But without clothes. At this time I lost all my pictures and everything from my father and mother and my sister and brother. So they let me out and I had to throw away everything. They gave me new clothes, clothes that are like pyjamas. They are with stripes. My number was I think 150 505.

    From Buchenvald they sent us to a place called Ranenbook. This was a gas chamber. They didn’t gas anyone over there while I was there. They led us all into a place like a shower. They crammed about 500 people in. We were there for only a couple of days and every morning they would grab a lot of people and they would just take them. There weren’t only Jews. There were Germans, and Polish, I think. It was a place where they were making rackets. Every two feet there was a German soldier, an S.S., with a machine gun. 

    Next, they sent us to Dorey. From there they sent us to Rockleh Barodeh. There were camps wired around, and bunks. In this camp, we stayed for six to eight weeks. We were working in a mountain. We were digging, making factories in the mountains. We were breaking up the stones. It was terrible. We were there in couples. When you were pushing out the stones, there were pieces of wood sticking up. The stones and wood were hitting you! If they didn’t hit your head, they would break your legs. Or your arms. We were there for quite a while.

    One morning they took everybody for a march. The march was going right down the road. I think I had my father’s cousin there and he got sick. They took away all the sick and I think they killed him. We were about 30 000 people, but most people died on the way because there was no food and they were pushing us and taking us to side roads. Those people from the S.S. with machine guns and dogs. German Shepherds. They took us and we were walking for a month and a half, I think. I remember one time we were going to the water that was running on the side road. We went to drink it and they shot half the people. We were less every day. I was losing weight constantly.

    Then there were fighter planes coming down and we got shot. I got shot in the leg. After this, I dropped down to about 80 pounds. I had no food. So, the Red Cross came around with wagons and they were going to give out parcels. I grabbed a parcel because I hadn’t eaten for weeks! I started eating and I got sick. I almost died, because if it had been only bread, it would have been okay but there was meat and all kinds of things inside. I hadn’t eaten for three weeks! They only had given me a little piece of bread. So when the Americans started hitting the Germans, we were sleeping and we heard them. Leon and another guy were carrying me. They ran out and got a couple of Americans. They took me in their jeep, they took me to the hospital and they took out the bullet.

    After one or two days I woke up and I was in a white bed! I went from the mud to a white bed.  We had nurses over there in the hospital. This was, I think, May the first or the second. I was in Shvarim, and I got better and I left the hospital.

    My hope in sharing this is that his words will forever be remembered – engraved in this social space. We will always remember. Lest we forget.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

    On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

    Once upon a time, there was a movie about a girl who was homeschooled, trying to fit into the jungle that is high school. If you are familiar with the title of this blog, it’s surely because you have watched (and probably rewatched) the movie “Mean Girls”. There is a reason the movie resonated with so many. Even though it was released in 2004, it feels like it could have been yesterday. The story is not a new one, it is about the trials and tribulations of high school and how to get along when you feel lost socially. It’s about how to stand up for yourself, and if your social status is determined by the “in” crowd. It isn’t the first of its kind, and it is definitely not the last. We all have our social horror stories from our time in school. No one left those years unscathed in some way, shape, or form. The truth is, the movie truly struck a chord with so many girls because we could see ourselves in one of the characters.

    In speaking with friends, it is apparent that these social situations are happening at an earlier and earlier age. This is especially true of those who have girls. It used to be that “mean girls” and the like were reserved for high school. Finding your place in the world, in society, and social circles comes to a head around that time. However, social difficulties between girls, in particular, are happening at a younger and younger age. I have countless stories of difficulties between my grade 4 students over the years. These are situations where girls are purposely and maliciously mean, unkind, and exclusionary – things that you wouldn’t necessarily expect of 9- and 10-year-olds.

    Before I go on, I want to make an important point. I don’t want to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are the only ones who deal with social difficulties. I know that with the rise of social media, emotional and social-based bullying is prevalent across all genders. I, however, it should be said that typically boys deal with disagreements in more of a physical manner whereas girls attack each other emotionally and socially. This is obviously not true for everyone but it is historically the pattern.

    Going through middle school and high school I can recall several situations that would be categorized as “mean girl activity“. I remember the rise of three-way calling in the 90s as the weapon of choice for many girls. Two girls would collude to call a third without her knowing that someone was listening on the line. The first girl would get the other to say something mean about the third without her knowing that she was listening. What pursued was a barrage of attacks, as the “truth came out”. Admittedly, I was both the perpetrator and victim of this behaviour. It got to the point that girls would become paranoid whenever they received a phone call, asking numerous times if anyone else was listening on the line. Sabotaging each other socially is the number one way girls get at each other. And truth be told, there was no rhyme or reason behind it. It was simply to play off each other and test the boundaries of what we could get away with. Girls attack and play on anxieties of being alone or becoming a social pariah.

    “You know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.”

     Gretchen Wieners (Mean Girls)

    I was well into my teens when I began to truly understand the notion of quantity over quality when it came to friendships. This is a lesson that needs to be learned not to be taught and sometimes it’s a difficult one to stomach. Understanding that true friends are those who will truly be with you through thick and thin comes with the territory of going through those trials. Some of my best friends are those who I have known since elementary school because those bonds have stood the test of time.

    As a mother of a young girl, I struggle with this immensely. I am proud to say that she is well-adjusted socially and typically well-liked by her peers. Up until this point, Hubby and I have done all of the managings of friendships – organizing play dates, birthday parties, zoom calls, etc. Now that she is older, she has significantly more autonomy over who she interacts with. Gone are the days when you should be friends with everyone in your class simply because you share a space with them. Yes, you must respect each other but you don’t necessarily have to form strong bonds. A few weeks ago, she came home to tell me she had planned a play date with her friends. She informed me of the time and day and all I had to do was take her there. This was the first time she had organized something on her own and I was happy to oblige.

    It is not all rainbows and sunshine though. And this is where I truly struggle. There are, of course, girls she is friends with whom I would not choose for her. Let me be frank and say I disagree with how they are brought up and how they interact in social situations. I worry that she may be influenced to try the things these girls do, even if just to see what it is like. I will say that this is a whole other can of worms for me to open up on another day. There are also girls with whom she does not get along. Not for any other reason that these girls lack social graces and verbal filters. It takes everything in me to not get involved when she tells me that girls in her class have said rude things to her. She lets these comments roll off her back, and sometimes has a witty retort for the other girl. I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of these things and I want to protect her with all my heart. I also know that these are paths she has to travel through on her own. With my map ideally, but without me in the driver’s seat.

    So how, as a mom, do you reconcile having your child do things on their own and wanting to protect them at all costs? How do you find the balance between knowing how kids can be and letting them forge their own path? All I want for her is to be a strong, confident girl. And she is, but I don’t want her to lose that at the hands of a peer. Knowing how girls can be, and knowing how mean they are to one another, how do I arm her with the social wherewithal to stand up for herself and not let things take up space in her head? Really, at the end of the day, all we can do is teach our girls to be strong-willed, strong-minded, and thick-skinned. We can build them up before others tear them down. We can give them the language to speak up and talk back. And we can pray that the Regina George’s of the world don’t get into their heads. Otherwise one day mama-bear is going to come out swingin’.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • How To Be A Partner In Education Even If You Aren’t A Mindreader

    How To Be A Partner In Education Even If You Aren’t A Mindreader

    Our children spend six and a half hours a day in school. For those who are not mathematically inclined, that’s over thirty hours a week. That is a lot of time to be learning and growing and evolving without parents truly knowing the specifics of what happened in the day. And yet, we are often left wondering how we can do more at home, and support what is being taught. Are they grasping concepts? With the learning lag of online school still very much at the forefront, many parents are worried that they need to provide extra attention to learning, These questions are magnified by not really knowing what our children are doing during the day. What ARE they learning? What concepts are being covered? When the typical response to “what did you learn today” is either “I don’t know” or “stuff”, how can you even be effective?

    As a teacher, one of the most frequently asked questions is how to support children at home. Let it be said that I definitely don’t have all the answers. I do know that parents typically fall into one of two categories; those who are over-involved and those who are under-involved. Why is that the case? Because as we know with everything else in life, striking a balance is next to impossible. So why should supporting our children’s education be anything different?

    Instead, we inherently swing towards one of the extremes and wonder how to ease off the gas a bit more. I wanted to provide some basic tips and tricks for how to support children. These are things that teachers wish parents knew, and are easy to implement. The best part is that you don’t need to know what concepts are being covered to start!

    Everything starts at home, the night before. We have all heard of the importance of a good night’s sleep and I’m sure that many of you have bedtime routines down pat at this point… I’m certain more so for parental sanity than well-rested children wink. What I am referring to is before bedtime. In an effort to engage our children, many of them are over-programmed. Extra-curricular activities are important, don’t get me wrong. However, having a different activity every night of the week is a LOT. Every child is different, and where some can handle only one activity per week, others may be able to handle more. It’s important to remember that having multiple commitments can cause anxiety in children. I have had many conversations with students who have said they are unable to complete things at home or feel that they have too much going on because they have activities almost every day. This is a prime example of the importance of open dialogue between children and parents. This is not to say that the child who does not want to practice piano (cough cough my own child) gets to opt-out, but we do discuss the number of weekly commitments together.

    The use of an agenda is a fabulous tool. When our children are young, they are a great way to communicate with the teacher or vice versa. This helps to cut down on the unknowns of the day. When children are older, it is a great time-management tool. Unfortunately, many schools have paused the use of agendas due to Covid, as they try to minimize the items going back and forth from school. If you already have an agenda system in place, make sure to use it, and model for older children (grades 3+) how it can be helpful. Reviewing the agenda daily, and initialling it so that teacher can see you have read it is an easy start. If there is no agenda system in place, reach out to the homeroom teacher and see what the best form of communication is for weekly reminders, special days and upcoming assignments and assessments. This may look like a virtual newsletter, an email system, or even a virtual classroom. Don’t leave it to your child to tell you where to find the day-to-day information. That being said, no matter what the system, please do not expect the teacher to record verbatim what has happened in the day, as that is just not feasible.

    Reading at home is so important. This can be a bit of a no-brainer in theory but can be difficult to tackle in practice. When our kids are younger, we often read together with them; help them sound out the words or look for picture clues. As children get older and are more independent, parents do not always know the books they are reading (I mean, has anyone really had the time to pick up the most recent DogMan book??). This begs the question – how do you support reading? The good news for parents is that as students enter the end of primary and into junior grades, reading is more about explaining your understanding and less about your oral fluency. Talking about reading at home is the number one tip I give all parents of the students I teach. This means we need to talk about reading with our children, and always encourage them to support their thinking. These mini conversations can take place in the car on the way to school, at the dinner table, or right before bed. They do not have to be formal assessments.

    Simply ask what their favourite part is so far, what they think is going to happen next, or which character is they can relate to the best and then ask WHY. This is an area of need for all children (and especially gifted thinkers). Encouraging children to give more than a one-word answer, and think about supporting their thinking will give them a leg-up not just in literacy but in all subjects. I recognize that this assumes our children actually read at home, which I know many do not. The good news is that these conversations can be about any subject (space, chocolate cake, or Pokemon) – the key is in the WHY.

    The last point I want to cover is to ask children how they are feeling. This year, more so than others, brings with it a lot of anxiety. Whether children are back in the class, still online, or back and forth, there are a multitude of feelings. Taking time to ask children how they are doing, and giving them both the tools and the outlets to truly express it are imperative. I can tell you that 99% of children will not just walk up to a parent and articulate perfectly how they are feeling (nor would 99% of adults for that matter). Asking children to journal, mindmap, or colour a picture of their day are all ways that can help you understand how they are doing without a formal conversation. Check-ins will help gauge how they are doing with all the changes and uncertainty of the year. Just as our mental health is important, so is theirs. As they cannot necessarily advocate for themselves it is our job to ask questions to help them process. If there is interest, I can definitely go into this more in a later post.

    The only thing you definitely cannot do is read minds. Although we may want to, we cannot be flies on the wall in the classroom. Even as a 4th-grade teacher with a child in a grade 4 classroom, I STILL don’t know what she is doing on the daily. We all struggle with this. We will never know exactly what happened in the day but we can try to give children some tools to help them get through, And trust me, your child’s teacher will thank you. I know I would.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Fri-ta-tta, Fri-tah-tta

    Fri-ta-tta, Fri-tah-tta

    I *may* have mentioned once or twice that breakfast for dinner is a go-to in my house. We love eggs, since they work so well for fast, easy suppers, and will be eaten by both picky N and pescatarian J. Frittatas are the best dish for throwing in whatever you have in the fridge and getting rid of the odds and ends. It’s also a great way to get veggies into children who think you are not a parent but a line-cook.

    My best tip is to invest in a cast-iron skillet. They are not as pricy as you may think. Here is a non-affiliate list of options from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cast+iron+skillets&crid=20L868YPHXYO9&sprefix=cast+iron%2Caps%2C191&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_9 The cast iron makes the stove-to-oven action super easy. It also makes the egg super crispy (aks super delicious) on the edges. There is one simple thing you have to remember about cast iron. Under NO circumstances do you use soap to wash it. To clean, you can boil some water in the bottom of the pan or use salt as an abrasive to get the bits off the bottom. Then coat with oil before you put it away and it will be ready for the next time!

    So back to the egg-cellent recipe…. Here is the frittata base (mix the following all together):

    • 6 eggs
    • 1/4 cup milk
    • 1 garlic clove (or 1/2 tsp minced garlic)
    • 1/4 tsp salt (less if using a very salty cheese or meat)

    The best part, as always, is what you can mix in. In the photo on the left I have cherry tomatoes, brie, and zaatar seasoning. Not sure what to put inside? Here are some combinations ideas:

    • spinach and fontina cheese
    • bacon and cheddar cheese
    • peppers and onions
    • broccoli and white cheddar
    • sausage and peppers
    • salami
    • chicken and goat cheese
    • tomatoes and basil
    • mixed cheese
    • caramelized onions and swiss cheese

    Simply put your mix-ins at the bottom of the pan (minus any cheese) and cook them slightly. This is especially important for vegetables that hold a lot of water, such as spinach and broccoli. Otherwise, the eggs won’t set properly. Make sure there is enough oil in the pan so the eggs won’t stick, and pour the egg/milk mixture on top. Ensure the ingredients are all over the pan instead of in just one place. Top with the cheese. Bake at 400º for about 15-20 minutes. If you find the cheese is burning you can always lightly cover the pan with some tinfoil for part of the cooking time.

    Pictured right: Spinach, mushroom and an Italian 4-cheese blend

    I would love to know what you would put into your frittata! Share your combinations here for all to enjoy.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Inhale The Future, Exhale The Past

    Inhale The Future, Exhale The Past

    About two months ago, I began a journey to become a certified yoga teacher. Yoga has been a part of my life for more than 10 years. When I was pregnant with J, yoga was one of the only forms of movement I could tolerate. When Covid hit, J and I would do yoga together in the evenings to wind down. Although it eventually lost its appeal for her, I ramped up my own practice. I enjoy the peace and calm it brings me amidst the chaos. So when my best friend told me that she was going to work towards her certification, it appealed to me. We decided to do it together, as best friends do. I knew I loved the poses and active movement involved, so why not learn more about the history and origins?

    What I didn’t realize is just how much the breathwork and meditation components would mean to me. Mindfulness is such an important part of good mental health, as is an awareness of one’s self. I love that you don’t need tools for the breathwork – it is the most portable form of self-care. Many people are intimidated by the quiet and metered breathing. There is a misconception that it is time-consuming and you must sit in silence for an extended period of time.

    So for my first yoga-inspired post, I wanted to share the ways that I incorporate breathing and mindfulness in my day, to show that it can be easier than you think. Breathing is something we need to do. Our bodies manage it without us thinking about it. But when we are stressed, anxious or tired our breathing innately becomes more shallow. Scientifically this is because our body stops relying on the diaphragm to breathe. In yoga, the prana (or life force) is brought into the body with our breath. Being aware of it and harnessing it is a huge source of power and strength. I am here to share with you some of the ways I am mindful and practice “pranayama” (Sanskrit for the regulation of breathing) in a real-life go-go-go setting.

    ONE: Be present. This doesn’t mean you have to be present at every moment of the day. One of the biggest yoga gurus, Richard Rosen, talks about taking in the small moments of the day. We don’t do anything specific, but instead, do nothing and just observe. I find when I am taking the dog for a walk in the morning, or sitting in my car at a red light, I take 30-60 seconds and become very aware of the moment. I really take in all my senses – what do I hear? Smell? See? Just taking that time to come out of my head and into the moment can be very powerful. Think of it as a quick mental reset.

    TWO: Take deep breaths. I find when I’m stressed (and let’s be honest, that is often!) practicing equal-part breath helps me to focus. Equal-part breath is one of the core breathing techniques in yoga and it is easy to access. If you find it helpful and safe, you can close your eyes. I typically do this while I’m driving and the kids are yelling at each other, so my eyes would NOT be closed. Empty your breath, and breathe in slowly for a count of 3-4, depending on what you can do. Then exhale for the same amount of time. If this is difficult you can try just inhaling slowly and exhaling your normal breath. But, ideally, you are focusing on breathing in and out equally (hence equal-part breathing). The focus becomes your breath and not whatever is stressing you out. Again, this doesn’t have to be something you do for 30 minutes. Even a few rounds of breathing can be calming.

    THREE: Take five. When we think of meditation, we think of a quiet mind without any distractions. We think of a group of people sitting in a room, with eyes closed and all humming in unison. In reality, meditation is what you make of it. When you are feeling overwhelmed, try this. Just sit down (on the floor, at your desk, on your bed) and listen. Instead of trying to turn everything off around you, just sit and experience it. Listen to the sounds around you instead of trying to tune them out. Are people talking? Birds chirping? A car horn blaring? Feel your body instead of trying to ignore it. Is your skin hot or cool? Is your stomach grumbling? Then focus on your breath… not trying to control it, but just listening and feeling how it moves. Even five minutes of this can be transformative.

    My hope after reading this is that you can see that mindful breathing is much more accessible than we fear it is. There is indeed an entire practice dedicated to learning to meditate and breathe more successfully – but that is just it – it’s a PRACTICE. In our crazy busy lives, even taking five minutes to be present in our bodies and minds can be helpful. And at the end of the day, five minutes is better than nothing!

    This is life. Love, mom.

  • Excuse Me While I Step Off My High Horse

    Excuse Me While I Step Off My High Horse

    When J was a baby, Hubby and I took a family trip to Florida. On our first night there, we went to a restaurant with my parents. After a few moments, a couple walked in with their three children. Each child was holding their own device and proceeded to play on them while they waited for their food. Hubby and I looked at each other and immediately agreed that we would never be like that. When we went out, our kids would sit and colour and we would have meaningful family conversations. I guess we neglected to agree that the children would then fly home on their unicorns. Even as I recount this story, I cringe at my combination of mom-judgement and starry-eyed optimism. As our children grew older, Hubby and I quickly realized we had a choice – allow our children to have technology and have some semblance of a quiet meal, or not go out as a family. We proudly chose the former, and laugh at how naive we were back in the day. The truth is, for us being out together as a family is way more important than giving our kids a little bit of screen time…. and I’m not sorry about it.

    When N was born, I grew much more confident in myself as a mother and had a better idea of what he needed, which was a stark comparison to the constant worry and fear of being a new parent with J. This newfound conviction became helpful when I took N for his one-year checkup. Our pediatrician (who we love and trust more than anything) was on her own maternity leave. So he was seen by another doctor. At the time, N was only babbling three incoherent words instead of the benchmark of five. I wasn’t concerned as J was a later talker, and N was on track to do the same. The doctor however was extremely concerned, stating that he wanted numerous follow-up appointments to check on N’s language. He even went as far as to say that I should withhold his milk until he said the word milk. Clearly, he was not a parent. I remember leaving the appointment and calling Hubby, telling him if I was a first-time parent I would have been through the roof with worry. However, as a second-time parent, I was less concerned. This is not to say that second, third, or fourth children don’t bring us worries. It just means that we are somewhat more confident in our decisions and care less about what others think about them.

    It turns out the judgiest people are two very different groups of people: those who don’t have kids and other moms. Non-parents are the ones who want to dole out unsolicited advice and judgement. The “when I have kids….” crowd love to talk about all the ways they are going to be a better parent. They have grandiose ideas about how children should be raised, and what they should eat, play, and say. I will be the first to admit that I was one of them. When I was pregnant I knew all the things I wanted to do with my kids, how I wanted to raise them, and things I wouldn’t let them do. How quickly that changed when I became a mother. As parents, if we aren’t careful we can fall down a very dark hole of self-doubt. The messages from media, our Facebook moms group, our social circle, social media, and the random lady in the mall are all talking in our head. The only way to avoid this is to be secure in our decisions, which is a near-impossible task.

    On the topic of mom’s groups, they are up there as being the worst offenders. Facebook groups that are meant to help moms support one another can quickly devolve into a group of judgemental, hate-mongering sociopaths. Anyone who is a part of these groups knows I am not exaggerating with this description. These moms, who hide behind their keyboards, love to shame other moms about their decisions and beliefs when they don’t jive with their own. These moms want to tear others down to feel better about themselves. I am certain it all stems from insecurity in some way, shape or form. These groups are not for the faint of heart, and definitely not for those who are insecure about their parenting. Why do we even join these groups? Maybe we are all gluttons for punishment or are just looking for the silver lining in people. There is a great Similac ad about how judgemental moms can be towards each other. I’m linking it here if you haven’t seen it, as it’s definitely worth a watch. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUbGHeZCxe4)

    We have all been there – where the little voice in our head judges other’s decisions. It’s human nature. We are constantly evaluating what others are doing, the choices they have made, and the expected outcomes. That’s part of how we decide what is going to work for us once we are in that same position. It is part of the learning process, as we can potentially see a decision through to the end before we need to make one for ourselves. But it is so easy to judge others in a negative light. I have done the same thing many times, and I’ll be the first to admit it. I think there is some level of comfort being on the judging side, as opposed to the judged. I would caution you though that we need to stop and ask ourselves if it is really serving its purpose – is it making us feel better? Chances are it isn’t.

    If I had $1 for every time I did something I said I’d never do as a parent or did something that other people said I shouldn’t do, I could have retired by now. Solids at four months, solids at six months, no screen time before two years, sleep-train, don’t sleep-train, let them cry, never let them cry, make sure you say this…. never say that…. don’t let them do this… make sure they do that…. The truth is that once you become a parent, you start to understand what works for you and what doesn’t. And let me tell you, it very rarely is what everyone else says you should do. I can admit now that parenting is completely different than what I thought it would be like. So I will get off my high horse and admit that I have judged others for their decisions, and I will never do it again.

    This is Life. Love, Mom.

  • These Are Five Of My Favourite Things…

    These Are Five Of My Favourite Things…

    *Back To School Edition*

    One of the best gifts we can give one another is recommendations for things that make our lives easier. I have decided to compile a list of things that have helped me, in a variety of categories. There are things that I have found that are tried and true, and things that I wish I would have found sooner. With school around the corner, a back-to-school edition was fitting for my first list. With the lazy summer days behind us, back-to-school time can be a bit precarious. Think of this like Oprah’s favourite things episode, just the LifeLoveMom edition! Hopefully one or more of these suggestions makes the time a little easier. It is a bit of a medley of items and ideas, but I wanted to ensure that I covered all the bases. I want to add that these items are not sponsored. This is just some good, old-fashioned word of mouth.

    NUMBER 1: School lunches can be HARD! My kids have never been into sandwiches or traditional lunches. So I have found bento boxes to be my saving grace. I know there are so many brands out there…. I personally love the YumBox because I can buy extra trays in case one has to soak or make a run through the dishwasher. I also love how durable they are. My daughter has had the same one for 5 years!

    I much prefer making lunches the night before, so sometimes I pack the tray and cover it with saran wrap so I can let the case air out overnight. You can find them almost anywhere, but I find that Chapters has the best prices. Here is a link in case you need one. https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=yumbox#internal=1

    NUMBER 2: As much as moms feel we can do it all, we can’t. I have found chore charts have been a lifesaver. Giving kids age-appropriate chores to help around the house is a great way to share ownership and instil responsibility. They don’t have to be large, onerous tasks. It also helps to give kids something to do when everyone gets home, so you will have at least a few minutes before the epic chaos ensues. Some examples are that J helps to set the table, empty the dishwasher, make her bed, and practices her piano. Since N is younger, he empties his lunch box, puts his laundry away, and feeds the dog. I love this chart from Amazon. It sticks right to the fridge and the kids are obsessed with the dry erase markers! https://amzn.to/3eNdM6l

    NUMBER 3: Covid has completely changed the landscape of school. I never thought I would have to stock up on masks in addition to everything else. But, alas, here we are. I adore these pouches that my sister makes. Her company, EandR Creatives has the cutest Etsy page. They make the organization of clean/dirty masks so much easier. The kids love that they are personalized just for them! There are tons of other personalized items, but I am linking the mask pouch here. https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/861175451/double-pocket-mask-pouch-double-pocket?ref=shop_home_active_1&pro=1

    NUMBER 4: This isn’t a product, but more of a strategy. Meal planning is my jam. If you know me, you know how sacred my weekly meal plan is. I swear by shopping once a week, and making it last. One the weekend, we typically eat out for one dinner, but during the week I don’t have time to think about what I’m going to make. So meal planning is so important. You don’t need fancy apps or templates to do this. I usually make a list on my phone. I plan out what is happening in the week, and who is eating when. Then I make a list of meals, and ingredients I will need (after looking in my fridge and pantry to see what we already have). I add drinks, lunch box items, and any paper goods we might need. Then I can confidently shop for the week. For those of you who don’t have time to grocery shop, I am loving Voila by Sobeys. You can make a list right on the site, and it tracks your favourite items. I have a code for new customers who want to save $25. Just click here https://referral.voila.ca/l/1LEORAKIM81/

    NUMBER 5: The art of conversation… How was your day is probably the vaguest question we can ask our kids. This is why it is typically met with a “meh”, “okay” or a silent shrug. Many parents would liken finding out what happened during the school day to pulling teeth. When J started school, Hubby and I decided that we would reframe the question into more specific prompts. I am including a list of examples here:

    • Who made you smile today?
    • Who was one friend you played with today?
    • Who did you help today?
    • What was the funniest thing that happened today?
    • What is one new thing you learned today?
    • What was your least favourite part of the day?
    • Was anyone sad today?
    • Which was your favourite subject today?
    • Did you enjoy your lunch?
    • What is one thing you are proud of today?
    • What was the most special part of today?
    • What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

    Asking questions like these is not foolproof. We do get the silent nods and shrugs, or the “idunno”s. But they do tend to elicit conversation faster than general questions.

    Back-to-school time can be super stressful. Here’s hoping these suggestions can make it just a little bit easier. If you have any suggestions, tips or tricks for back-to-school time, I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments for others to read and share. After all, we are all in this together.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    I don’t know about you, but breakfast for dinner is a huge deal in our house. I’ll be honest, it’s my second favourite meal after brunch. Breakfast for dinner is a super-easy way to get all the food groups into my kiddos quickly and easily. It usually involves some kind of egg (scrambled, fried, or omelette style) and waffles. Keep reading for some of my favourite mom-hacks and flavour combinations. Now, I am not here to preach to you about no sugar, all-natural, gluten-free food. In our house, we believe in everything in moderation. If you are a mom who makes everything from scratch that is all-natural and without any preservatives or sugar, give me your address and I’ll send you your medal. That is not who I am.

    Waffles are not an everyday meal, but we do enjoy them. So when I make the kids waffles, I use pancake mix. My preference is the mix where you add an egg and milk, but I don’t always find it that convenient because you need to make a set amount. These days, we are loving the Krusteaz mix from Costco (or found here https://amzn.to/2V1y5WK).

    MOM HACK #1: I do try to make the waffles a bit healthier by adding a teaspoon of ground flax and/or chia. These ingredients help bump up the fibre and omegas without messing with the taste. Don’t forget to keep both of those items in your fridge for maximum freshness.

    MOM HACK #2: This is a great place to throw in some fruit for your picky eaters. Frozen blueberries work perfectly here.

    I won’t include a specific recipe here, because the best thing to do is to play around with the flavour combinations. Simply make the waffles according to the instructions on your box, and throw in some extras. Just make sure to grease your waffle iron well, especially if you are using cheese. My kids love savoury waffles, too! Here are some things we are loving these days:

    • Mini chocolate chips (a couple tablespoons only, a little goes a long way)
    • Pomegranate seeds and slivered almonds
    • Cinnamon and vanilla
    • Frozen blueberries or raspberries
    • Shredded mozzarella cheese and garlic powder
    • Everything seasoning (you won’t regret this one, trust me!)
    • Shredded cheddar cheese and pickled jalapenos

    MOM HACK #3: If you own a waffle iron like mine, the plates do not come off, which makes it super fun to clean. When I am done cooking, turn the iron back on and put a wet paper towel inside for a few seconds. Make sure the paper towel is pretty wet but not dripping, and do NOT walk away from the iron. The wet towel will create some steam and help lift the sticky bits off the griddle (or in my case, the top of the castle), making it easier to clean.

    As with other recipes, I love trying new food combinations. J is a super foodie, and loves to come up with her own, too. If you make this recipe, please feel free to tag me on Instagram, or comment here with your favourite flavours for us to try!

    And don’t forget – waffle mix, like everything else in life, is OKAY in moderation!

    This is life. Love, Mom.