Life Love Mom

Tag: momlife

  • My Peloton And I: A Love Story

    My Peloton And I: A Love Story

    Pandemic life has been hard on everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship, a parent, working from home, working remotely, or unemployed. We have all had our own journeys to go through. This pandemic will be taught in school for years to come – that our kids will talk about with their kids. For many, this has been one of the hardest seasons to get through, for a variety of reasons. Access to daily necessities have been increasingly difficult (umm hello toilet-paper-gate 2021??) and life as we know it, has changed. We will all be masked for the near future, and stock for Purell will continue to rise. Exercise and access to physical fitness were one of the areas of our lives that took a hit. Depending on your mindset and mental state, this could have been either a positive or negative change.

    This love story began in February 2021 when our bike came. Actually… it started earlier when Hubby suggested a Peloton and I scoffed at how expensive it was. He talked about this bike that he had heard of – that there were on-demand rides and you could spin with other people. I loved the idea but couldn’t understand why it was necessary. At the time, I had been the equivalent of a couch-hermit, not participating in very much activity. Prior to Covid, I was doing kickboxing workouts 4-5 times a week and was in the best shape I had been in years. I felt good both physically and mentally. But then, we went into viral lockdown and everything diminished for me. So, the idea that we could park something in our basement and access workouts on demand was definitely appealing, but daunting.

    A simple Google search will tell you that this all makes sense. You can read article after article that explains the positive correlation between exercise and positive mental health. Experts all agree that movement is paramount to improving mental outlook. It reduces stress, improves cortisol, creates endorphins, and lowers blood pressure. However, it is NOT magic. It is not a switch that you can easily flip and rainbows will form overhead. For those who struggle to get out of dark places, it is hard to get going. I remember having numerous conversations with both Hubby and my mother about feeling stuck in a cycle. I felt so tired, and I knew that if I incorporated exercise I would feel better, but I felt too exhausted to even start. My brain and my body were not in sync. Even though I knew what might help me, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I feel so fortunate for my amazing support network, who listened, and encouraged, and helped me dig myself out.

    I started my first ride a few days after the bike was delivered. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I did a 20-minute Tabata ride without a true understanding of what that actually meant, and quite literally felt like I had died. I couldn’t make it up the stairs and Hubby couldn’t understand why I started that way (in hindsight I have no idea either!). But I decided to go back the next day, and the day after that. I hadn’t realized initially that Peloton was not just spinning. I love that I have access to other classes, too. When I started feeling very sore, I began adding yoga routines in the evening. It’s even gotten so that I can’t fall asleep properly if I haven’t done even a small yoga class.

    What I didn’t understand then, that I do now, is there is no price tag too expensive for your mental health. feel so much stronger both mentally and physically after 6 months. It’s a change in mindset and an embracing of my positive energy. It’s putting myself first for 20-30 mins a day and ensuring the endorphins carry me through. I love that my children can watch me on the bike (with headphones for those explicit classes, ha!) and see the importance of moving your body. When I was set to hit 100 rides, they were so excited, and it was so amazing to see. More so than the signs they made or the fact that they were cheering me on, was the fact that they were able to see that this milestone was a big deal. I want to be able to instill those healthy habits in them.

    So now I am working towards my next 100 rides, my next 100 strength classes, and my next 100 yoga classes. It won’t happen overnight but I am confident that I am going to keep at this. It isn’t just for myself anymore. I want to show my kids that not giving up working towards a goal and putting yourself first all make you stronger. It makes me a better mother, a better wife, and a more sane human. Cheers to the next 100!

    This is life. Love, Mom.

    A small disclaimer: I do want to take a moment to say that I am well aware of the privilege that goes along with this post. I know that machines like this are not accessible for everyone. I feel so very fortunate to be able to not only write about this but access it daily. I want to add that there are many machines and apps that are less of a financial commitment and can be game-changers. This is what worked for me, and I am so happy to share that it has.

  • Excuse Me While I Step Off My High Horse

    Excuse Me While I Step Off My High Horse

    When J was a baby, Hubby and I took a family trip to Florida. On our first night there, we went to a restaurant with my parents. After a few moments, a couple walked in with their three children. Each child was holding their own device and proceeded to play on them while they waited for their food. Hubby and I looked at each other and immediately agreed that we would never be like that. When we went out, our kids would sit and colour and we would have meaningful family conversations. I guess we neglected to agree that the children would then fly home on their unicorns. Even as I recount this story, I cringe at my combination of mom-judgement and starry-eyed optimism. As our children grew older, Hubby and I quickly realized we had a choice – allow our children to have technology and have some semblance of a quiet meal, or not go out as a family. We proudly chose the former, and laugh at how naive we were back in the day. The truth is, for us being out together as a family is way more important than giving our kids a little bit of screen time…. and I’m not sorry about it.

    When N was born, I grew much more confident in myself as a mother and had a better idea of what he needed, which was a stark comparison to the constant worry and fear of being a new parent with J. This newfound conviction became helpful when I took N for his one-year checkup. Our pediatrician (who we love and trust more than anything) was on her own maternity leave. So he was seen by another doctor. At the time, N was only babbling three incoherent words instead of the benchmark of five. I wasn’t concerned as J was a later talker, and N was on track to do the same. The doctor however was extremely concerned, stating that he wanted numerous follow-up appointments to check on N’s language. He even went as far as to say that I should withhold his milk until he said the word milk. Clearly, he was not a parent. I remember leaving the appointment and calling Hubby, telling him if I was a first-time parent I would have been through the roof with worry. However, as a second-time parent, I was less concerned. This is not to say that second, third, or fourth children don’t bring us worries. It just means that we are somewhat more confident in our decisions and care less about what others think about them.

    It turns out the judgiest people are two very different groups of people: those who don’t have kids and other moms. Non-parents are the ones who want to dole out unsolicited advice and judgement. The “when I have kids….” crowd love to talk about all the ways they are going to be a better parent. They have grandiose ideas about how children should be raised, and what they should eat, play, and say. I will be the first to admit that I was one of them. When I was pregnant I knew all the things I wanted to do with my kids, how I wanted to raise them, and things I wouldn’t let them do. How quickly that changed when I became a mother. As parents, if we aren’t careful we can fall down a very dark hole of self-doubt. The messages from media, our Facebook moms group, our social circle, social media, and the random lady in the mall are all talking in our head. The only way to avoid this is to be secure in our decisions, which is a near-impossible task.

    On the topic of mom’s groups, they are up there as being the worst offenders. Facebook groups that are meant to help moms support one another can quickly devolve into a group of judgemental, hate-mongering sociopaths. Anyone who is a part of these groups knows I am not exaggerating with this description. These moms, who hide behind their keyboards, love to shame other moms about their decisions and beliefs when they don’t jive with their own. These moms want to tear others down to feel better about themselves. I am certain it all stems from insecurity in some way, shape or form. These groups are not for the faint of heart, and definitely not for those who are insecure about their parenting. Why do we even join these groups? Maybe we are all gluttons for punishment or are just looking for the silver lining in people. There is a great Similac ad about how judgemental moms can be towards each other. I’m linking it here if you haven’t seen it, as it’s definitely worth a watch. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUbGHeZCxe4)

    We have all been there – where the little voice in our head judges other’s decisions. It’s human nature. We are constantly evaluating what others are doing, the choices they have made, and the expected outcomes. That’s part of how we decide what is going to work for us once we are in that same position. It is part of the learning process, as we can potentially see a decision through to the end before we need to make one for ourselves. But it is so easy to judge others in a negative light. I have done the same thing many times, and I’ll be the first to admit it. I think there is some level of comfort being on the judging side, as opposed to the judged. I would caution you though that we need to stop and ask ourselves if it is really serving its purpose – is it making us feel better? Chances are it isn’t.

    If I had $1 for every time I did something I said I’d never do as a parent or did something that other people said I shouldn’t do, I could have retired by now. Solids at four months, solids at six months, no screen time before two years, sleep-train, don’t sleep-train, let them cry, never let them cry, make sure you say this…. never say that…. don’t let them do this… make sure they do that…. The truth is that once you become a parent, you start to understand what works for you and what doesn’t. And let me tell you, it very rarely is what everyone else says you should do. I can admit now that parenting is completely different than what I thought it would be like. So I will get off my high horse and admit that I have judged others for their decisions, and I will never do it again.

    This is Life. Love, Mom.

  • These Are Five Of My Favourite Things…

    These Are Five Of My Favourite Things…

    *Back To School Edition*

    One of the best gifts we can give one another is recommendations for things that make our lives easier. I have decided to compile a list of things that have helped me, in a variety of categories. There are things that I have found that are tried and true, and things that I wish I would have found sooner. With school around the corner, a back-to-school edition was fitting for my first list. With the lazy summer days behind us, back-to-school time can be a bit precarious. Think of this like Oprah’s favourite things episode, just the LifeLoveMom edition! Hopefully one or more of these suggestions makes the time a little easier. It is a bit of a medley of items and ideas, but I wanted to ensure that I covered all the bases. I want to add that these items are not sponsored. This is just some good, old-fashioned word of mouth.

    NUMBER 1: School lunches can be HARD! My kids have never been into sandwiches or traditional lunches. So I have found bento boxes to be my saving grace. I know there are so many brands out there…. I personally love the YumBox because I can buy extra trays in case one has to soak or make a run through the dishwasher. I also love how durable they are. My daughter has had the same one for 5 years!

    I much prefer making lunches the night before, so sometimes I pack the tray and cover it with saran wrap so I can let the case air out overnight. You can find them almost anywhere, but I find that Chapters has the best prices. Here is a link in case you need one. https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=yumbox#internal=1

    NUMBER 2: As much as moms feel we can do it all, we can’t. I have found chore charts have been a lifesaver. Giving kids age-appropriate chores to help around the house is a great way to share ownership and instil responsibility. They don’t have to be large, onerous tasks. It also helps to give kids something to do when everyone gets home, so you will have at least a few minutes before the epic chaos ensues. Some examples are that J helps to set the table, empty the dishwasher, make her bed, and practices her piano. Since N is younger, he empties his lunch box, puts his laundry away, and feeds the dog. I love this chart from Amazon. It sticks right to the fridge and the kids are obsessed with the dry erase markers! https://amzn.to/3eNdM6l

    NUMBER 3: Covid has completely changed the landscape of school. I never thought I would have to stock up on masks in addition to everything else. But, alas, here we are. I adore these pouches that my sister makes. Her company, EandR Creatives has the cutest Etsy page. They make the organization of clean/dirty masks so much easier. The kids love that they are personalized just for them! There are tons of other personalized items, but I am linking the mask pouch here. https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/861175451/double-pocket-mask-pouch-double-pocket?ref=shop_home_active_1&pro=1

    NUMBER 4: This isn’t a product, but more of a strategy. Meal planning is my jam. If you know me, you know how sacred my weekly meal plan is. I swear by shopping once a week, and making it last. One the weekend, we typically eat out for one dinner, but during the week I don’t have time to think about what I’m going to make. So meal planning is so important. You don’t need fancy apps or templates to do this. I usually make a list on my phone. I plan out what is happening in the week, and who is eating when. Then I make a list of meals, and ingredients I will need (after looking in my fridge and pantry to see what we already have). I add drinks, lunch box items, and any paper goods we might need. Then I can confidently shop for the week. For those of you who don’t have time to grocery shop, I am loving Voila by Sobeys. You can make a list right on the site, and it tracks your favourite items. I have a code for new customers who want to save $25. Just click here https://referral.voila.ca/l/1LEORAKIM81/

    NUMBER 5: The art of conversation… How was your day is probably the vaguest question we can ask our kids. This is why it is typically met with a “meh”, “okay” or a silent shrug. Many parents would liken finding out what happened during the school day to pulling teeth. When J started school, Hubby and I decided that we would reframe the question into more specific prompts. I am including a list of examples here:

    • Who made you smile today?
    • Who was one friend you played with today?
    • Who did you help today?
    • What was the funniest thing that happened today?
    • What is one new thing you learned today?
    • What was your least favourite part of the day?
    • Was anyone sad today?
    • Which was your favourite subject today?
    • Did you enjoy your lunch?
    • What is one thing you are proud of today?
    • What was the most special part of today?
    • What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

    Asking questions like these is not foolproof. We do get the silent nods and shrugs, or the “idunno”s. But they do tend to elicit conversation faster than general questions.

    Back-to-school time can be super stressful. Here’s hoping these suggestions can make it just a little bit easier. If you have any suggestions, tips or tricks for back-to-school time, I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments for others to read and share. After all, we are all in this together.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    Sweet and Savoury Waffles

    I don’t know about you, but breakfast for dinner is a huge deal in our house. I’ll be honest, it’s my second favourite meal after brunch. Breakfast for dinner is a super-easy way to get all the food groups into my kiddos quickly and easily. It usually involves some kind of egg (scrambled, fried, or omelette style) and waffles. Keep reading for some of my favourite mom-hacks and flavour combinations. Now, I am not here to preach to you about no sugar, all-natural, gluten-free food. In our house, we believe in everything in moderation. If you are a mom who makes everything from scratch that is all-natural and without any preservatives or sugar, give me your address and I’ll send you your medal. That is not who I am.

    Waffles are not an everyday meal, but we do enjoy them. So when I make the kids waffles, I use pancake mix. My preference is the mix where you add an egg and milk, but I don’t always find it that convenient because you need to make a set amount. These days, we are loving the Krusteaz mix from Costco (or found here https://amzn.to/2V1y5WK).

    MOM HACK #1: I do try to make the waffles a bit healthier by adding a teaspoon of ground flax and/or chia. These ingredients help bump up the fibre and omegas without messing with the taste. Don’t forget to keep both of those items in your fridge for maximum freshness.

    MOM HACK #2: This is a great place to throw in some fruit for your picky eaters. Frozen blueberries work perfectly here.

    I won’t include a specific recipe here, because the best thing to do is to play around with the flavour combinations. Simply make the waffles according to the instructions on your box, and throw in some extras. Just make sure to grease your waffle iron well, especially if you are using cheese. My kids love savoury waffles, too! Here are some things we are loving these days:

    • Mini chocolate chips (a couple tablespoons only, a little goes a long way)
    • Pomegranate seeds and slivered almonds
    • Cinnamon and vanilla
    • Frozen blueberries or raspberries
    • Shredded mozzarella cheese and garlic powder
    • Everything seasoning (you won’t regret this one, trust me!)
    • Shredded cheddar cheese and pickled jalapenos

    MOM HACK #3: If you own a waffle iron like mine, the plates do not come off, which makes it super fun to clean. When I am done cooking, turn the iron back on and put a wet paper towel inside for a few seconds. Make sure the paper towel is pretty wet but not dripping, and do NOT walk away from the iron. The wet towel will create some steam and help lift the sticky bits off the griddle (or in my case, the top of the castle), making it easier to clean.

    As with other recipes, I love trying new food combinations. J is a super foodie, and loves to come up with her own, too. If you make this recipe, please feel free to tag me on Instagram, or comment here with your favourite flavours for us to try!

    And don’t forget – waffle mix, like everything else in life, is OKAY in moderation!

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Love Handles And Other Things We Hold On To

    Love Handles And Other Things We Hold On To

    People like to talk about growth, and how life-changing new experiences can be. We preach the goodness of looking towards the future, and how the past is behind us. We all want to think that we value these learning experiences, and welcome them. Don’t get me wrong- these are all important ideas to value, and in many cases it is easier to look forward than back. But when it comes down to it, change is hard for most people, especially when that change is related to our most valuable possession – our bodies. We hold a picture in our minds of how we should look; based either on an idea or a past season of life. For many, this correlates to a size, weight, measurement, or another number. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we all want to be smaller, thinner or weigh less. It could mean we want to bulk up, gain muscle, or weigh more. But for whatever reason, how we look does not line up with how we feel about ourselves. There is often a nagging feeling that “if only” we could change something, or go back to the way we once were, we would be happier.

    There is a special place in this hell of a landscape for mothers. Body image is a dangerous term. I would argue that for many, it may be one of the most emotionally charged terms in the English language. It is tied so tightly to so much more than just how we see ourselves. The mental ramifications of studying our bodies can be damning. The obsessing, seeing flaws, and urge to fix things is a slippery slope. As mothers in particular, society does us no favours. The same body that is praised for growing and bringing life into the world is quickly frowned upon for not “bouncing back” fast enough. We attach descriptives like glowing, radiant and healthy to pregnant bodies, and then turn around and call those same, postpartum bodies tired, flabby, and untoned.

    The moment mothers give birth, the race is on to erase the stretch marks, tighten the love handles, and tone the core. Celebrities who leave the hospital looking runway-ready, or grace the cover of magazines in bikinis a mere months after giving birth, do us all a huge disservice. We look to how our bodies were before babies and yearn for those back, as if all it took was a time machine. We don’t relish the beauty and miracle that same body has given us.

    In the spirit of transparency, I am equally guilty of this. I often think back to my pre-pregnancy body, and equate it with a number on the scale and a size of jeans. For a long time, I hid my stretch marks, even from myself. The body that grew two humans was not what I wanted it to be. Why is it I was able to carry two wonderful, healthy babies to term, and still judge the body that made it possible? Even to this day, I struggle with loving my outer shell. I have worn one-piece bathing suits since I was pregnant nine years ago, only bought a bikini last year… and I still don’t feel 100% confident in it. It is a journey and gets easier or harder depending on the season I am in. Anyone who says that social media, advertisements and popular culture have zero effect on them is in denial. Those people may have a stronger inner voice than others, but the messages (subliminal and overt) are constantly thrown at us. I have recently begun following several body-conscious influencers on Instagram to help inform my mindset. If you are looking for some, Sarah Nicole Landry (aka The Bird’s Papaya) is a great start. I feel fortunate that these women are making their voices heard, and have been embraced by others. There hasn’t always been a place for these stories, but they are slowly becoming louder and louder.

    It is a unique form of torture we keep only for our deepest, darkest moments.

    So why do we hold on to these ideals? These past images of ourselves? Keep clothes in our closet so we can wear them again eventually? Or perseverate on unrealistic goals that will somehow determine our self-worth? It is a unique form of torture we keep only for our deepest, darkest moments. Why is it so easy to preach self-love and self-care, but so difficult to exercise them? We tell each other to treat ourselves with grace and patience, yet it is so difficult to take our own advice. Society simultaneously tells women to be perfect versions of themselves, but also to take care of themselves and not worry about what others think. For my part, I have to commend Hubby for having my back. He often tells me to shake off the negative self-thoughts. There is a stark contrast between these polarizing ideas, and it is so difficult to meet somewhere in the middle. It would be so much easier to just say “screw it” and live for ourselves and not for others. It is just easier said than done.

    Having a daughter has changed my outlook, though. With diet culture and social media barbies running rampant, I am acutely aware of the messages she is receiving. I know that as she grows, she will [continue to] be bombarded with print and television media ideas of what she should look like. I just don’t want those messages to come from me, too. I have always been conscious of not commenting on my weight in front of her. That is a private conversation I have inside my head. Those are the demons that I battle on my own time. J sees me exercising and hears me talking about eating healthy, but we always frame the conversation about how it is to keep our minds healthy and feel good about ourselves. We talk about makeup, and how I wear it for myself, and not to look beautiful for others. I stress the importance of doing things for ourselves to boost our positive vibrations, and not as a result of others’ judgements. The other day she commented on my stretch marks, and I told her we should come up with a magic word for them because they magically appeared when she was born. Did I believe it when I said it? Honestly not even for a hot second. But I wanted to try to be positive about it. I want her to love her body, and talk positively about herself, even if I am still learning how to do so. Of all the things I want to pass on to my daughter, negative body image is definitely not one of them.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Another Trip Around The Sun

    Another Trip Around The Sun

    Last week was my birthday… 38 trips around the sun. Would you believe me if I told you I actually had to think about how old I was? There are days where I think I’m 36 and days when I feel 45. I’m not exactly sure why that is. It’s probably a combination of mom-brain, pandemic life and sheer denial. It got my wondering when I stopped counting the days until my birthday. When I got into my 20s, aging became a bit of a scary thing. I was never one to take the day off for by birthday, or plan a large party. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but I have never really been a fan of celebrating my birthday. Don’t get me wrong – I love celebrating OTHERS’ milestones, just not my own.

    I remember when we were kids, we would count our age by 1/2 and 3/4. Turning double-digits or becoming a teenager was a big deal. N is turning 6 in August and proudly walks around telling people he is 5 and a half. Children can’t wait to become full-fledged adults. They can’t wait to be independent, make their own decisions, and grow up to be paleontologist-power ranger-dancers or vet-baker-babysitters. N can’t wait to grow up because it means he can own a snake as a pet and ride a motorcycle. J, ever the more thoughtful child, can’t wait to grow up because it means she can become more mature and have a family of her own. As children, we race to hit those milestones but as adults we dread them. Why is that? Somewhere along the line, the idea of ageing hits us like a ton of bricks, and we no longer embrace it. Instead, we inject it with botox and fillers and hope it fades into the background.

    I think part of it has to do with the idea that we want to slow down time. As parents in particular, there is a stark juxtaposition between wanting time to stop, not believing how fast things are going, and wanting to skip to the next stage. For me, time never felt like it went as fast as when I became a parent. There is something about living your life through your children that makes things go by real fast. To say that you want to freeze time is probably one of the most cliche parental statements. We want to keep our children in these little time capsules and keep them young and innocent.

    At the same time, though, we want to skip forward over the messy stuff. There is a part of us that thinks “things will be better when……” (insert the milestone of your choosing here). We are so certain that we just need to get over a particular hurdle and it will be peachy on the other side. SPOILER ALERT! It never gets better or worse, just different. There is always going to be another hurdle, mess, or milestone. My parents like to tell me that I have it easy right now, I just have to wait until they are teenagers – just another hurdle. I’m certain there is a lot of truth to that, as well.

    The other part, I strongly believe, is that being an adult is HARD. Some days, it feels like it’s overrated. The fountain of youth and everything that goes with it exists so we can relive the days when we had no fears, anxieties, or a true understanding of what this world really is. There are still so many days when I can’t believe I’m an adult. I have these fleeting thoughts… moments when I’m driving home or doing something around the house…. where I cannot believe I am living on my own.

    I talk to Hubby about this all the time. I tell him I can’t believe we *were* children, and now we *have* children, a house, a dog, a family, and all those other adult responsibilities. There are days when being an adult seems like an impossible task. When all I want to do is turn back the clock and go back to university when I THOUGHT things were exhausting. Boy, was I ever wrong! As a society make light of it in memes and comics; because sometimes humour is the only way to make our way through.

    So what do all of these ramblings mean? What is the point, really? As Jimmy Buffett says, birthdays are for “celebrating what I should have done, with these souvenirs of my trip around the sun”. The should’ve, could’ve, would’ve will continue to live inside my head, never going away. But those souvenirs he speaks so highly of? That would be my family. Hubby, J, N, and even the fur baby…. they are my reason for getting up and adulting every day. When the days are easy, when they are hard, and when they feel next to impossible. It definitely isn’t perfect but I would take 100 more trips around the sun if I could to spend more time with them. And that in itself is something to be celebrated.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • That Dirty Little Word

    That Dirty Little Word

    In today’s social media, direct-messaging, online world, you have undoubtedly heard the term “multi-level marketing” or MLM. This term encompasses many companies from Herbalife to Beachbody to Tupperware and a plethora of beauty suppliers. Wait… which dirty would did you think I was going to talk about?? While you all get your minds out of the gutter, let me give you a bit of a backstory.

    Almost everyone has encountered an MLM-style company at one point in their lives. I can remember Avon catalogues in dental offices and other waiting rooms. Years ago, no one knocked women for selling creams and shampoos to help support their families. They were celebrated for finding a side-hustle and making some extra income. Avon and the like weren’t dirty, scammy companies. They were avenues to empower women.

    Fast forward to today, and watch people’s faces change when you mention an MLM. Unless they are familiar with the way these companies work, they will run in the other direction faster than you can say “nail polish”. If they stay long enough to get a word out, they will most likely tell you all about pyramid schemes and why MLMs are all scams in sheep’s clothing. They will tell you about so-and-so in their circle of friends who became a consultant and hounded them to buy whatever product they were selling that day. Or how they were added to multiple online parties without their consent and were spammed with messages about buying the flavour of the day.

    So, I’m here to set the record straight, since stories like this simply break my heart. Let’s start with the obvious question: what IS a pyramid scheme? A pyramid scheme is an illegal business model. It involves recruiting people and having them pay into a company with the promise of success, without getting anything in return. With MLM companies, you are selling products. This is a key (and legal) difference. Yes, they are both structured with someone at the top, and many people below them, but name me a company that ISN’T structured like that?? Pyramid structures recruit people with the allure of financial gain, only to bring the opposite. MLMs do recruit others, but with the promise of a business model and products to sell.

    In my humble opinion, multi-level marketing companies have suffered the same fate as many other businesses. A bunch of people, who don’t know how to do things properly, ruin it for everyone else. The same is true for lawyers, real estate agents, and car salespeople. Everyone has a story about the sleazy, money-hungry professional who didn’t have their best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean there aren’t amazing ones (heck, I’m married to one!), but what sticks out are the bad apples. When MLMs exploded in the industry, so many people flooded the market without training or social know-how. They began creating parties, inviting everyone on their social media, and trying to recruit everyone they knew. They came off as sketchy without even meaning to. But, in the process, they gave these companies a bad name. Now, the moment people hear you are working with an MLM, they think you are going to message you relentlessly to try to sell you everything and the kitchen sink, and then try to recruit you for their downline.

    By now, you will probably realize where I stand in the MLM world. For many years I was a part of a company where I thrived personally and professionally. It started as a side-hustle but gave me a source of passion and happiness. What’s more, I gained a family. These are women I have never met in person, but I know would have my back. Together we have celebrated milestones, and gotten to know each other on a deeper level. In my heyday, I ranked as a team manager, with over 50 women in my downline. Together, with my upline leaders, we trained women how to sell strategically – without jeopardizing friendships or their integrity. Sadly, the company took a turn. It turned hands several times, and the dynamic changed. It was something that became difficult to get behind. Many of us ended up leaving, knowing we needed to be able to support what we were selling. But in the back of our minds we were nervous that the shoes of the original company were too big to fill, that we would never find that family-vibe again.

    This was true….. until now. It seems the MLM world can’t get rid of me that easily. I was recently introduced to a company that is in its infancy in Canada. It has already been around in the United States market and has moved into Canadian waters, as well. When I heard that it created gel strips for nails (similar to the last company I worked with) AND included many of the women from the previous company, how could I NOT say yes?? There will definitely be more to come. So stay tuned. On the change something here struck a chord, and you want to join me on this journey, then let me know. And don’t worry – it will all be legal 😉

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • We Are All Bad Moms

    We Are All Bad Moms

    When I decided I wanted to start a blog, I knew in my heart this needed to be the first post. As cliche as it sounds, being a mom truly is the hardest job in the world. Yes, it’s the most satisfying but it is definitely not all rainbows and sunshine. When J was 2, I distinctly remember having a conversation with a friend. She had a daughter J’s age, and an older son. I told her that I was happy the “terrible twos” were almost done and asked her when it gets easier. Without skipping a beat, she replied “it doesn’t”. We laughed at the time – a laugh that was a combination of humour and fear.

    Remember the scene in “Bad Moms” where Mila Kunis announces to the entire PTA that every mom is a bad mom? (Sidebar, if you haven’t seen this movie, it’s a must see. I highly suggest you check it out!) Mila’s character goes on to say that sometimes she’s too strict, sometimes she’s too lenient. She laments that what works for one child almost never works for the other. Well I don’t know about you, but I was not-so-secretly raising my hands along with her. There is something freeing about knowing that being a “bad mom” is okay. That not every decision has to be perfect. It should be just that easy, right?

    Except it’s not. As moms, we are our own worst critics. We scrutinize every inch of our decisions with that little voice in our heads. Are we feeding our children too much? Too little? Are they too short? Too tall? Are they outside enough? Too much? Every decision is a rubiks cube of emotions and a see-saw of back and forth. It starts the day they are born, and it never stops. Never gets old. Never lets go. Don’t get me wrong, dads do this too. Some, even more so than moms. But there is a special place in our heads for mom-guilt. We feel guilty when we’re doing it, and we feel guilty if we’re not. There is no end to the madness.

    As a mom, my first years were trial by fire. I have never been good at learning as I go. I am a planner, an organizer, and a chronic over-thinker. This is starkly juxtaposed by Hubby who is a feeler and a doer. We do end up balancing each other out, which is good since two of the same would be a serious nightmare. I thought I could plan out life with a child, but life doesn’t give you that choice. So I was forced to maneuver through motherhood like the proverbial bull in a china shop. There were days I thought I has it all figured out, and there were days where I thought I was an absolutely failure. But when I look back, and look at my children now, I think we managed through it alright.

    Society doesn’t do mothers any favours. Mila’s “Bad Mom’s character states in her rant that being a mom today is impossible. Every now and then, first time mothers ask me for advice (and let me clear this is NOT unsolicited advice as society loves to dole out to moms….). My number one piece of advice is that motherhood is not just rainbows and sunshine. Feeding your baby is not going to be natural. They are not going to latch right away. They are not going to grab at the bottle immediately. It’s not like they show in the movies, and it definitely isn’t spoken about enough. Movies and tv shows will show moms as being perfect, and that everything will come naturally – from the moment they birth out a perfect 6-month infant. The mom is able to breast-feed perfectly, and the baby sleeps through the night on day 1. Then the mom wakes up super refreshed and dewy-faced, ready to face the day. This is so far from reality, it hurts to even type it. As moms, we need to talk to one another, and share the “ugly truths”.

    So what are these ugly truths? We are all, in some way, shape, or form, a bad mom. It doesn’t get better. But it does get easier for a hot minute. We will get into a groove and figure most things out. Then our children will grow, change, or evolve and we will be back to the beginning. Nothing is perfect. There is definitely no such thing as a perfect mom (no matter what you see on social media). The more we share this with one another, the more normal it will feel. And then maybe, one day, we won’t feel so guilty.

    This is life. Love, Mom.

  • Well Hello There….

    Well Hello There….

    Well, hello there! Grab a cup of coffee and let me introduce myself. My name is Leora. Being introspective and describing oneself is not always the easiest to do. The top three roles that describe me are wife, mom and teacher. So, that’s a great place to start. A little more about each of those:

    ~Hubby and I have been married for 10 years, together for 14. We had big plans for a 10-year getaway, but alas, COVID…. More on that in later posts.

    ~ I am a mom to two firecrackers and one furbaby. J is 8 and N is 5. Bella is a 12 year old Boxer-Australian Shepherd mix. They are a big source for my content, so you’ll be hearing a lot about them.

    ~I have been a teacher for over a decade. I teach grade 4 gifted students. I love the quirky, inquisitive challenge of gifted children. I wouldn’t want to work with any other age group. I have gained a lot of wisdom over the years that I can’t wait to share with you. If you want a sneak peak, check out my YouTube channel which is a Q&A all about gifted education.

    In addition, I have some loves that I am eager to talk about. Self care practices have been HUGE for me these last few years. My side hustle for years has been selling nail art for a beauty company. I love sharing ways to help women feel beautiful. I have always baked as a way to combat stress (subtext, get ready for some recipe posts!) but I have adopted other ways to manage as well. Yoga, exercise, breathing, and becoming a crazy plant lady are just a few!

    Now if you’ve gotten this far in the post, you are most likely wondering “Why a blog? Why now?” and contemplating whether I have simply jumped on a bandwagon. That, friends, is not the case. For as long as I can remember, I have felt the most comfortable writing down my thoughts. I communicate best in writing, where I can articulate my thinking. Having a blog has always been something I wanted to do, but never had the time to pursue it. Thanks to pushes from Hubby, I am officially making the time. I have so many things I want to share with you all.

    I would love for you to come on this wild ride with me. Being a woman, mom, wife, professional, and sane human all at the same time is a tall order. Join me as a navigate through them all, one musing as a time.

    This is life. Love, Mom.